Probably TMI

After coming home from our wedding weekend, I had to begin the "prep" for my colonoscopy. I had made the decision early that I would go on a liquid diet going into the prep. (That was a little tough at the wedding, so I ate lightly and did liquids Sunday and Monday.) The hope was that I would not have the cramps (like in the past) if I planned my diet accordingly. After all, everything that goes in, must come out. My last colonoscopy had to be canceled because I was cramping and throwing up. The doctor also decided to change my prep to a "new and updated" prep called moviprep . Everyone kept saying that it tasted sooooooo much better than the Golytely (Yes, the person who named these had a sick sense of humor).
Well, let me just say..... THEY WERE ALL LIARS. Liars straight from Hell. This prep tasted awful. Though it wasn't as much to drink and I didn't get cramps with it, I could hardly keep it down because of the taste. Best description I can give is, Salt water+ Lime Scented Pine-Sol= MoviPrep. Each time I had to drink it, I would stare at the glass for about 5 minutes trying to psych myself up to drink it.
Fast forward a little....
Everything came out great....

and my colonoscopy went well.
(Sorry, bad joke)
I expected to go through the procedure and worse case , the doctor would want to change up my meds. But that isn't what happened. Apparently my worse case scenario was actually a best case scenario. The doctor discovered that the large amount of inflammation had not gone down like we hope. My last colonoscopy in Dec. 07 showed the same inflammation. It was so severe then that my doctor couldn't get the scope from my large intestines into my small intestines. At this colonoscopy nothing much had changed. The inflammation was still too much for the doctor to get into my small intestines. He said that there was also significant scar tissue.
So now what??
Next step are probably surgery. He didn't seem to hopeful that the inflammation would go away and meds can't remove the scar tissue. So it looks like I will have to have a resection done.
I won't say that I am not scared or that I haven't cried my share of tears over this. But I am trusting that God knows what he is doing. I believe down in the inner most parts of my soul, that God created me this way. When he knitted me together in my mother's womb, He made Crohn's disease a part of me. So I must trust that he has a plan for me to use this to glorify him.
Psalm 139:13-14
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My prayer over the past couple of days has been this....

God please give me the strength to glorify you through all of this. Help me to not become overwhelmed with fear, sadness, or sickness, in such a way that it distracts me from glorifying you. I know that I can do this (this= Glorifying God) but only with you as my strength.