At what point do we move forward?

This morning I finally got to get up and go walking. This is a time that I have come to cherish and love. I have missed it so much while I have been sick. This morning was cloudy and cool. As I walked (dodging sprinklers) breathing in the brisk morning air, I began to pray my thanks for the breath of life that God had breathed into me this morning.

I decided today that the past 2 months are gone and I just want to move forward. I am so OVER being sick, not having energy, and being weak.

Yesterday I was cooking and found myself dancing as I cooked. NOW.... if you know me at all, you know..... this girl can not dance! I began to realize that I have found a new freedom, a new energy, a new breath. One that I wouldn't have found if I hadn't been sick.

At what point do we move forward? Each of us has a "sickness" or baggage that we need to move on from. Anger, hurt, sin, the past. I wonder how many songs/dances we have missed because we are so weakened by the "past" that we carry.

About 8 years ago I decided to leave my childhood behind me. The different instances of hurt, being let down, anger, resentment. I knew that I could not be the parent, wife, or daughter that God was asking me to be unless I moved forward from my past. Forgiveness is one of the hardest acts of love. But there is so much freedom in it. I have chosen to just let it go and move forward with only thoughts of the good things that I remember.

Dorthy didn't choose the twister to take her away, she dreamed of a rainbow. But despite her mode of transportation she still found The Land of Oz. My favorite part of that movie is when she steps out into Munchkin Land and it is all in beautiful bright colors. We can't change how we got to where we are. We may have dreamed of rainbows and been handed a twister, but.... what we can do, is move forward dancing down the path He laid for us( yes, and dodging the apple throwing trees). Leaving that colorless "Kansas" behind us.

Normal as can be

Deep breath in... Deep breath out..... in....out

Ok here we go. Back to normal. (as much "normal" as I can strive to be) The past weeks have been such a struggle physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Just as I felt like I was able to put one foot in front of the other and REALLY walking in the direction that God was leading.... SMACK! I got sick. Being sick was so overwhelming that I couldn't do anything, that I had been doing. Getting up before my children was a struggle, therefor my quiet time wasn't going to happen. I felt like crap so the only thing I prayed for was ME. I had no energy, so I couldn't play or run around with my little ones. I WAS MISERABLE.

After 8+ weeks of this craziness, last Wednesday I was finally able to get the problem solved. They discovered that it was my gallbladder and (ALOT of) stones. They removed it all and now I am on the mend.

Before all of this came on I was planned to attend Women of Faith this past weekend. Obviously, having surgery on Wednesday made those plans looks undoable. After I got out of surgery on Wednesday I began to pray that if there was anyway I could, that God would open those doors. All day Thursday I was back and forth with what my body was going to allow. After much deliberating with myself I decided to take the leap and go.

If you have ever been to a WOF conf. you know that they are HUGE. Yes, the speakers are great, yes the music is fantastic, but the grand part of it all (to me) is the sheer number of Christian women gathered in one place. Christians for ONE purpose. Not worrying about doctrine, not worrying about building size, not worrying about color or skin, worship style, or if it is KJV or not. Just gathering because we all love and worship the same GOD.

SO maybe I minimized music a little bit, by saying fantastic. The quality of musicianship that was there could only be described one way... WOW! Nichole Nordeman ,Sandi Patti, and Mandisa. All 3 women brought something so different to the table and touched my heart 3 COMPLETELY different ways. Nichole Nordeman is one of my favorite singer/song writers, a mom, and a christian. How cool it is to have the same songs that I sing and dance to with my ipod, usher thousands of women to the feet of Christ in worship. Sandi Patti is a completely different part of my heart. She takes me to my childhood and makes me stand in aww of what can happen when we don't put God in a box. God has used her music and her testimony to reach so many and to show people how God can use them no matter there circumstance. And lastly Mandisa. My "idol". Hubby and I are big American Idol fans. So to get to see Mandisa in concert and to here her share her testimony was FANTASTIC! Boy does she have a voice.

I could go on and on about this weekend, but most of you know just how great these conf. can be. As I stood in worship Friday night I quickly became overwhelmed with thankfulness. Knowing how sick I had been and being able to have to privilege of being in Philly despite it all, was HUGE for me. God is so good! This weekend was all about Freedom. One speaker talked about mountain top experiences. She talked about being free to truly see and experience those times completely. Being able to soar on the wings of eagles when you are on that high. BUT.... mountain top experience are few. Most of us live in the valley 99% of the time. I guess I always saw "the valley" as the place of death and desperation. Not as a place of life. But in the valley we are with everyone experiencing life and living it. In the valley we can hear the sparrow sing.

Not that those mountain top experiences aren't the most wonderful things ever. In fact, they are what fuels us through the valleys. But I guess it is about perspective. Being able to appreciate where God has placed us. All the while knowing that He is with us.

This weekend was a NEEDED mountain top. Thank you all for praying me through my sickness. But I wouldn't have loved my weekend so much, if I had gone through so much to be there.

I will leave you with a video of some of the music I got to enjoy this weekend! Love all of you!

Perspective

As we go through our days experiencing LIFE, the glasses that we see through are tinted with our perspective.
For example: Getting out of bed and walking to the restroom may not seem like much to most of us, but to the person who has been confined to a wheelchair for years it may seem like unimaginable freedom. PERSPECTIVE. Going out for you favorite ice cream sundae on a hot July night sounds great to the ice cream lover, but to the lady who wants to drop 10 pounds it may sound like torture. PERSPECTIVE. Sanctity of Life Sunday, may seem like a great day to rally the troops. A day to bring awareness to those that don't know all about the horrors of abortion. But to the woman who has had an abortion, been forgiven , but will always feel grief, that Sunday is full of sadness, shame, isolation, and much more. PERSPECTIVE. Sept. 12, just another day to some. But to thousands of families Sept. 12 is "the day after", the day that they had to realize that their loved ones weren't coming home. The day that they had the "face" the world. PERSPECTIVE. Our Flag. To some it is a joke, to others it is something they would die for. PERSPECTIVE. The Bible. To some it is a book of fiction. Interesting stories, but laughable truths. To others, it is words of Life. Instructions for living. And truth above all else. PERSPECTIVE.

I pray that as we go forward in our days we pause to recognize different perspectives. Right or wrong, they are what make up people. Our life experiences determine how we things, do things and live. I pray that we are always patient others and gentle with our word. Life is full of experiences, and I pray that we can always strive to help those around us experience life through God's grace.

30 days to live

I recently heard a sermon series titled 30 days to live. The basic point is this: If you had 30 days to live, what would you do differently? I was so impressed by this thought.
How different would my days look? I know that each moment with my children would be lived to the fullest, and each moment with my husband would cherished completely.
In this sermon that I listened to, they highlight some different people who have either been near death or they are dying. It is amazing to hear them talk about the legacy they want to leave and the eternal perspective that they have. So here are some things that I am putting through this new filter.
-Phone calls. If I had 30 days to live would I take that call? Is it worth it to ignore the incoming call because who you are with is more important? Or is it worth it to take the call because the person is that special?
-Meetings. If I had 30 days to live would I meet with these people. Are they THAT important.
-Broken relationships/relationships. If I had 30 days to live would I invest my precious time in this person? Would I fix a relationship that is broken if I knew that my life was ending?
-Witnessing. If you new that someone had 30 days to live would you share Christ with them?

If I had 30 days to live my attitude towards people would be very different. I wouldn't be the one who gets mad when my McDonald's order is wrong. I wouldn't fuss about not getting a close parking spot. I wouldn't care that my son has dumped the folded laundry on the floor, again.

If you had 30 days to live what would you change and do differently? Would you smile more? Fuss less? Would you stop and smell the roses? Or would you stop and pick them?

Psalms 39:4-5 “Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered—how fleeting my life is. 5 You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath.”

Here is the link to the sermon series that I have been listening to. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! LifeChurch