6 Quirky things!

Ok! Thanks Steph. for tagging me. I am so jacked on Prednisone that I can't focus to right a blog that actually requires much of me. So righting about being quirky is PERFECT!

SO here goes!

1. I shave my legs EVERY DAY! If I don't, I can't sleep when the sheets hit the stubble. It drives me nuts. I have even been known to shave my legs in the middle of the night (if I forgot that day).

2. The smell of tires makes me nausated. You know what I am talking about.... when you walk into SAMS or the back of Walmart where they sell tires. I can't handle it. It is difficult for me to even go near the department.

3. I hate cooking breakfast. I like eating it. But there is something about the chaos of so many things needed to be cooked all at once and then you have to clean it up! I Hate it. Thank goodness I have a hubby who seems to like it. I do good to just do pancakes and sausage, much more stresses me out.

4. My 2nd toe is longer then my big toe. SO much so that I buy 1/2 size bigger shoe than I probably wear, just to accomidate my long toe. Hubby calls it my "freak toe". Oh and I am 5ft 2in. and wear a size 9. Hmmm... kind of quirky.

5. I can't breathe through my nose when I swim. You know how you are "suppose" to blow out when you are under water. Nope, I can't. I can't jump in a pool without holding my nose (unless I am diving) And yes.... I have tried since I was 6 years old.

6. I love marshmellows. Roasted, plain, just melted in a bowl in the microwave, Peeps, Chocolate covered, Roasted Marshmellow Jellybelly, little ones, big ones, on a salt cracker in the toaster oven just until the tops turn brown. :-)


Hope you ahve enjoyed my nutty, can't focus on too much, out of the box blog. It was fun! ANd it only took me a couple of hours. Prednisone keeps me from focusing on 1 thing but keeps me doing 1,000,000.

A little Angel

As you know we have 4 children. Each perfect and special in their own little ways. From fire and passion to gentleness and compassion. They all have qualities that I pray will grow into maturity and God will use to impact this hurt and broken world. My recent blogs have been all about what "junk" is going on here. So today my blog will be about one of my angels. (Not that one is more special than any others, but today it is about 1).

My PeyPey
From the day she was born we have said (specifically her father) that she was born to make people smile. She has the most contagious smile I have ever seen.
She often tells me, "Mommy, you are my best friend forever." You can just imagine what that does to me. Dr. Phil said one time on his show,"It is not our children's job to love US, but it is OUR job to love our children." That statement has stuck with me through the tough times with pre-teens. I feel like my job is to make sure that not matter what, my kids know I love them. And one day.... if taught well....I will know that they love me. But then God sent me PeyPey. I have never been around a child that makes me feel loved like she does.
Yesterday was an interesting day with her. She decided that she would "test" me on EVERYTHING! This usually compliant princess who will do anything I ask, with a smile and a giggle, wanted no part of obeying me. Everything I asked her, either got a NO in response or she ignored me. At least it was obvious that she was "just testing me". So we struggled all day and finally daddy had to rescue her from me and put her to be, because I had "HAD IT". She refused to go up the stairs and I refused to carry her.
But this was our conversation this morning:
Me: "PeyPey, we had a bad day yesterday. Let's not have one of those again."
Her: "I was very mad mommy."
Me: "Yes I know, but you have to obey me when I ask you to do things."
Her: (with a big smile) "I will and I happy today.... Mommy, you not mad at me?"
Me: "No baby, I was never mad at you, I just like you to use nice words when you talk to me."
Her: "I use nice words today, I love you mommy."
Her: "Mommy, you not go away next week?" (Because of me being in the hospital last week)
Me: "No I will not leave again."
Her: "I miss you mommy when you go away."
Me: "I won't leave to overnight, but I do have to go to the store today."
Her: "Uh! You have to leave me AGAIN?" (With a big ole grin)
Me: "Yes"
Her: "Ok, but you drive car real fast." Than I got a big hug and another "I love you Mommy".

Nothing can compare to the feeling of being loved. By a spouse, a child, a friend, or our God.
1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Thank you God for loving me through my family. For showing your face to me in the smiling eyes of a child. Please help PeyPey to always love as you love. I pray that she impacts the world in the beautiful way that she impacts my life every single moment of the day. Thank you for her sweet, understanding, compassionate spirit. And thank you for the privilege of making me her mother and trusting me with her for this short passing moment we call life.

God.... What are you up to this time?

In my last blog we were just small steps from leaving on our trip to Guatemala. My excitement was high and preparations were complete. Friday I picked my mom up at the airport so that she could stay with our children for half of the time we were gone and then Tuesday Hubby's parents were coming to stay the rest of the time. Friday "day" went pretty good, I rested most of the morning just to save as much energy as possible. All of my packing was complete. Suitcase zipped. Instructions for the house/kids complete. Friday evening things started to get a little rough. My stomach was a little crampy so I went on to bed, hoping that it was just "all" that I had been doing. We had to meet our team at 3:15a.m. to leave for the airport, so our plan was to be up around 2:15a.m.
And then it hit... Around 11pm I started throwing up and feeling pretty bad. I began to pray that God would make a decision for me. I prayed that if I wasn't supposed to go on this trip that he would let me get sicker so that I would know for sure. I didn't want any guessing about this one. (Am I supposed to go, am I not, am I supposed to go, or not) Within about 10 minutes I was curled up in the bed in pain. Soon enough a high fever (105 or so) and shakes that were out of control. I couldn't keep anything down. I turned to hubby and said that I couldn't go to Guatemala. After he took my temperature he said he couldn't either. So instead of meeting our team at 3:15a.m. we met doctors in the E.R. By the time we got there my temp was 103.6 and a heart rate of 185. It took a little time but they finally got everything under control. They decided to admit me and now..... 5 days later..... I am finally home. In the end, the diagnosis was a Crohn's flare up.
Through all of this we have seen God's hand of protection in a huge way. I am so thankful for his timing. My house and the kids have been perfectly taken care of because of our plans to be on the mission trip. Had all of this happen 12 hours later we would have been in a 3rd would country 3 hours from a hospital.
It is very hard for me to try to wrap my mind around our lives right now. Alot of things that seemed stable a dependable are now not. Nine months ago my health was great & leaving our church didn't even seem like a possibility. Though financially things have been uncertain for a while with the church, leaving wasn't even in our realm of thinking. But now here we sit with my health being crazy, Hubby's job ending in 1 month, a dreamed mission trip undone, a house to sell, a job to find, a house to buy, a city to move to, and lives that will change drastically AGAIN!
In my mind I laugh and think "God, you must be living in your own world doing your own thing. Because I don't get it. I don't understand what in the world you are up to."
Yes I know..... stupid thoughts from a stupid girl.
The reality of it all is... that it is normally me trying to live in my own world and do my own thing. And I am not supposed to know what He is up to. Faith is hard sometimes. Faith is easy when nothing tests it. I read recently about blind faith. This is a line that stood out to me the most.
If we truly know Him, then we will see His character and know that He loves us and that His word is true. This is not blind faith it is faith based on proof that is all around us.
The proof around me is GRAND! God has done more than a million blogs could ever list. He has taken care of us in unimaginable ways. I don't need to have blind faith.
When I have short term memory loss and confusion and I forget that the God of the Universe holds my life gently in the palm of His hand, I ask stupid questions.

God forgive me for my questioning your infinite wisdom and perfect plan. Thank you for holding my life in your hands and carrying me through this journey. Though I wish I was in Guatemala, I know that your plan is perfect and one day I will have that experience. I trust that at the right time you will allow me to follow the dream of missions that you have engraved on my heart. I do not know the next steps that you have laid for us, but I trust that you will cradle us and hold us tightly in each moment.

3-2-1

Ok so here we go.... we are 3 FULL days away from leaving for Guatemala. I am nervous, excited, scared, happy, sad, and PMSy (so I want to cry about it all). Yesterday was the first day in a while that I have felt really good. I had to go back on Prednisone again this week. I hate that because of the side effects and potential side effects. But the good thing is how much better I feel almost immediately. I actually feel somewhat normal (whatever that means). I have high hopes going into this trip that God will keep me feeling great.
Yesterday I had the daunting task of writing my will. (Yeah, try to do that being of sound mind while you are PMSing and on a steroid). Sadly it is something that I have never gotten around to doing. But looking forward at this trip felt it necessary since both Hubby and I will be gone. The scary truth is that something could happen to both of us and then what? I could care less about the house, cars, and other stuff, but the kids..... they are another story. Sitting down and thinking through all that I would miss if I didn't see them grow up was very sad. But I found my heart was comforted again by the thought of heaven. Knowing that if today held my last moments on Earth with my family, Heaven would hold an eternity of moments. Thank God that this "world" isn't the end of the story.
OK enough of that stuff!
While we are gone would you please help us by being in prayer. Each time Guatemala comes to mind please lift our entire team up. Here are some specifics that you can pray for:

• Safe travels. 3 hours to the airport from here. Flight to Elsalvadore then to Guatemala City. 3 hour bus trip from Guatemala City to the mission. And then back home.
• Good health for the entire team.
• The team will stay FLEXIBLE to be willing to do what God would have them to do.
• The families that have been left stateside. For their protection, comfort, loneliness, sanity, peace.
• Our leaders. That they will be able to to lead with confidence and to have a team that follows willingly.
• Open hearts. That the Guatemalan people will allow us to love them with the hands of God.
• Guatemala is on Central Standard Time and our days start at 7am. We will be there from Sat-Sat. (So you can pray timely)
• Here is our FLEXIBLE itinerary so that you can pray along with our actions:
• 2pm arrive in Guatemala City-7pm arrive at Mission
• Sunday- 8am breakfast, 9am church, 1pm tour mission,3pm visit orphanage/nutrition center/senior center,6pm dinner
• Monday-Friday- 7am breakfast, 8am Cleave for construction site and other ministries, 12pm lunch, 1:30pm back to sites, 6pm dinner
• Sat-7am breakfast, 8:30am depart for airport, 11:30am arrive at airport, 2:50pm Leave Guatemala City, 4:45pm Depart San Salvadore, 9:50pm Arrive in the States, 2am- Home.
  

Thank you in advance for your prayers and support. I will write and give plenty of updates when we return.

This video is a tribute to my brothers blog. He wrote about how those words moved him, so I listened to it and I must agree.

Jesus, thank you for the rain. It has caused me to draw close to you and be filled. You have strengthened me in my weakness and given me more than I could dream. You have given me unimaginable freedom, joy and peace. Bring me anything that brings You glory. I know there'll be days when this life brings me pain but if that's what it takes to praise you Jesus, bring the rain. Thank you for being greater than the pain.

Stepping out of the boat

Why did Peter want to walk on water with Jesus?

Was it so that he could check that off of his "Things to do before I die" list? (Sky dive, African Safari, Walk on water, Learn to surf, get a tattoo.) Was it so that he could impress his friends, or be able to tell his grand kids? Was it so that he would go down in "the book" with the great feat of water walking?Or was it because he so desperately wanted to be beside his Lord Jesus, that he was wiling to do anything or attempt anything to get there? Even if it meant that he would die trying. He didn't care how crazy it seemed or dangerous, all Peter knew was that His Lord was calling him to come and he was going.


Wouldn't it be grand if the last one was true for all of us (including Peter)?

I wish that every time God was calling me closer to Him that I would be willing to jump out of the boat. Not weigh out my options. Not look around me to see what people will think. Not be scared that I might fail. Just Jump! Head first with all my might.


Matthew 14:28-29 Peter, suddenly bold, said, "Master, if it's really you, call me to come to you on the water."
30He said, "Come ahead."


We all know what happened next. Peter stepped out of the boat and began to walk to Jesus. But then "life" happened, and Peter got scared. It was one of those times where everything seems great and you are on top of the world (or water). And then in slow motion.....everything that could go wrong passes through your mind. He probably thought "Holy Crap! I can't swim! I could die! I'm walking on what? Maybe JAWS will eat me. Can Jesus swim? Does he have an extra life vest?" And then he began to sink.

The moral of the story.... Loose focus and sink!?! Maybe. Or maybe the moral is.....Humans can't walk on water so don't be stupid and try.

With each new step in our walk with Christ we are asked to trust that God will make a way. Some days are definitely easier than others. On days that my faith is weak I feel stupid for trying to walk on the high seas of life. But other days I rest in the loving arms of my Father, who holds me above the waves. I pray as our family steps out of the boat in our next adventure that we will not loose focus. Though we may look stupid for the things we do, I pray that each of our days are lived pointing people to Christ.

God hold us high above the waves. But if we do begin to sink, forgive us for our unfaithfulness and thank you for your mercies that are new everyday.

Hope for a future

One of my favorite verses ever is...Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. I love it because the crisis Pregnancy center in Texas used it as their Motto verse. Not only was it meant as hope for the unborn babies, but hope for the terrified mothers. Who most did not know of a God who would forgive them and love them no matter what the situation.
But today I saw this verse on a church marquee and it spoke differently to me than ever before. I saw it on the way home from my doctors appointment. Now forgive me for taking a couple of steps back and explaining the afternoon before I saw this sign.

I left the house and headed for my doctor's appointment and it was the first time of the day that I had silence. I was alone in my car. When I am alone I usually turn up the music and sing MY MUSIC. So today was no different. (I decided weeks ago that no matter what came of this appointment, I would do everything I could to point to God. But sometimes that is easier said than done. Making the choice to not worry and give everything to God allowed God to do just that.... give me peace.) So anyway... back to my day. I turned on the radio and was caught by a song. I believe with all of my heart that God allowed me to hear this song.


I couldn't do anything but smile. Knowing that anything that we were now facing with my health or our life.... I had a choice. It was almost like it was a moment where is saw Heaven and realized that true peace, healing, joy, and life can't happen until there.
The doctor visit was good. Diagnosed with Crohn's not cancer and now we begin the medication game. Hoping to find the right meds. to make me live painfree.

Ok back to my favorite verse. On the marquee. All it said was something about "Plans of hope and a future." There it is again Heaven. Heaven is my hope and my future.

God thank you for hope and a future. Thank you for pointing my eyes to heaven and you today. Help me to always point people to you and to always share hope with others. Thank you for good news today. Thank you for peace.

Jan 1, 2008

A new year a new day. It has been a nice break from blogging and life that insists that I participate. The past weeks have been full of family, holiday, travel, fun, happiness, crankiness, questions, and answers.

Christmas seemed to sneak in and fly by. We had the privilege of 1/3 of our parents coming to our house to visit and then traveling to see another 1/3. The week of after Christmas was spent at Hubby's parents home with all the siblings and grandchildren. It was a wild adventure but one that has made memories to last through the ages.

My health has continued to be an issue but through much prayer and meds it seems to be a little better. I had the interesting adventure of a colonoscopy during the week leading up to Christmas. I must say that adventure is one that could be left for the medical books. It is not one that I care to take part in again, much less pay for. :-) During that procedure a mass was found. The doctor did not seem overly concerned about it but decided to biopsy it to be safe. He thinks it is just a mass of inflammation not a tumor. I go back to the doctor tomorrow to get the complete results from that test and to look at the next steps we will be taking. In the beginning I was very stressed and worried about this "mass". I was not happy that I was going to have to wait over a week to find out what the results were. But the God of peace has given me just that... Peace. He has comforted my heart and allowed us all to have a wonderful Holiday time. I decided last week that their is nothing that would come from worrying. We will just take life as it comes and move forward.

In the mean time our church has come to an interesting point in it's life. We (our church) have struggled financially for a while now. We have a lead pastor who has not taken a pay check in over a year and a weekly budget that has not been met in months. From pay period to pay period we are not ever sure if we will get a paycheck. Throughout these months of uncertainty God has faithfully provided for our family. As the new year begins the 3 pastors and their families have now come to a point at our church where 100% pay is not possible. All 3 families must now make a decision to stay or go. If the family chooses to stay at our church then they must also choose to go Bi-vocational and accept only 50% pay from the church. By cutting back on payroll it will allow the church to breathe (Financially) a little. Giving room for other ministry opportunities to take place. In the past months the church has not been able to spend money in ministry areas simply because it can hardly pay salaries.

I blogged a couple of weeks ago about Making decisions. My heart was very heavy when I wrote that blog. I knew that we were facing crazy stuff with my health and unsure times in our church. But today is a new year and a new day. As we go forward in all of this insanity that we call life I rest in the Peace of a God who promises to take care of us. I rest in a God who does NOT promise to only give us what we can handle, but who promises to hold our hand when we step out of the boat. We realize that sometimes when we step out of the boat on faith that things don't turn out perfectly. In fact they can turn out badly. But we serve a God who loves us and holds us tightly in the good times and bad. There is a Natalie Grant song that says "What it means to be loved is to know, that the promise was, when everything fell we'd be held." I love that because the promise isn't that we would never fall. But when those times come we are held by our Father in Heaven.

No matter what tomorrow brings at the doctor or what the next months bring in our church, I pray that everything we do with our lives and in our family point people to Christ, Our Abba Father. Who was and is and is to come.