Heart Grumblings

As a stay-at-home mom/wife the majority of my day is consumed with "running" the house.  I, like most stay-at-home moms/wives, could give you a huge list of all the things we are responsible for looking after.  The lists are crazy and cover more than seem humanly possible. But....we do it.  Day in and day out, and most of the time without complaint. (that is excusing the occasional yelling fit and tantrum that we throw because someone does something "again" for the 487x) 

A couple of years ago I came to the conclusion that if I do my job well, then no one will notice. In one way that is sort of a depressing thought, but for me that has given me quite a bit of comfort.  It keeps me from grumbling in my heart when no one sees that I have done 4 loads of laundry today, or that it's the third time I've cleaned the bathrooms this week.  After all let's be honest... It's the grumbling in our hearts that gets us.  I am pretty good, about 75%of the time about keeping those fights to myself. But it's the "to myself" that can be so destructive.  It's there in the quiet of my mind that the bad stuff can cause the damage. But if I can agree that "job well done" is the compliment that comes in the silence, then my heart doesn't seem to grumble as much. 

Since moving to our new city, new home, new church my heart seems to grumble a lot :). I can't seem to find the same resolve and peace for doing the things that I had come to enjoy. In fact I find that I am just plain grumpy about some of it.  I think it is because I feel lonely.  Most of my time has been spent on the house or running our kids places.  So I am busy but alone in my mind. I haven't found that sweet spot where things just work they way they are supposed to. The kind where you run into Target and see 4 people that you wished you didn't see because it's a "no make-up, pony tail" day. Most of my heart grumblings are just simply because we are in a new place and not comfy.  I still have those "no make-up" days at Target, we just don't see people we know yet.

But here's the thing, I am working very hard right now to listen and watch for what God has for me to hear and see. In the routine of life we miss so much. If our heart grumbles too loudly then we will miss the lessons and we become the party planner for our own pity party.  We will get so caught up in our own woes that miss all that is being done around us and for us. 

Here are some of my lessons so far:

God sees me. When I feel as if I am invisible and my mom/wife work is unseen.  God sees me.  He sees my heart and it is only from him that true joy in my work can come.

My mission field right now has 4 walls and a roof.  It isn't a foreign country. It isn't even the neighbors down the street.  It is my home and my children. If my missiology is practiced well and bathed in prayer then maybe just maybe, Lord willing, we can send them out as a piece of the great commission.  

Love the people God places in front of me.  Without questions just love them.  This one is big for me.  God is showing me that I am judgemental and nosey through this lesson.  I normally want to know someone's back story. But I am figuring out that is because I want to judge their situation for myself.  So instead, my challenge is to simply love without questions or curiousity.  

Enjoy the quiet!  And be quiet.  Turn off the tv, radio, my own voice and just listen to what God wants to say.  It won't stay quiet forever.  So learn to love it now. Because in time the quiet will slip back into chaos and you won't miss it if you don't learn to love it.  

~LL

 

Covered insanity

Many times I feel like I am out of control and crazy. I don't think my kids know because I think I mask it well :)  I think many of us women feel like that many days.  Men think they have us some what figured out. And  just label us as "crazy". 

But guys I have a little tip for you "We know we're crazy!"  And we are crazy because of all that we do. 

Most of my brain time is spent thinking things like:  what's for dinner?  What's the vegetarian in the house eating? What's that smell? Who's texting me? I need to email ________. Dinner...shoot I don't have ______ to make _______ because one of my darlings ate it. 😡 Now to the store, but let's do the store when we pick up one of the teenagers, oh yeah I need to get my coat from the dry cleaners, nahhhh it's warm enough not to need it today so I'll get it tomorrow, oh yeah pick up child & go to store. That smell..barf...what is that smell?  Everyone in the car, teenager do you want to drive? Gotta log driving hours to get license. Please let's not die! Let's listen to school in the car, then math when we get home.  Stop at the store to pick missing dinner pieces, talk about spices in the spice aisle that are from the country we are studying. 

 store check ✅  school ✅ teenager driving ✅ picked up other teenager ✅ email ❎ smell ❎ dinner ✅ sanity maybe. 

Life can be CRAZY!!!  Especially this time of the year.  So today I exercised my mommy powers.  After our Christmas focused school (which is so much fun!) I forced them to watch Rudolph the red nosed reindeer. 🎄(The claymation version :)🎄 I said,"This is not an option. Everyone needs to know where Rudolph came from."  

And then I ate ice cream for lunch. 

My point.... Slow down.  Enjoy the season.  And for goodness sakes watch Rudolph.  

~LL 

PS the smell was dinner from last week that one of the kids had taken in the car and forgotten.  Spinach, cheese, pasta 😝

A Proverbs 32 woman

Proverbs 31:10-31

The Wife of Noble Character

^10 [a]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Many years ago and a few states back, I, through some mentoring that I was doing, became extremely convicted about what kind of wife/mother I was.  I had read Proverbs 31:10-31 and realized that I wasn't doing many of those (if any).  I became convicted that  Proverbs 31 was to be a goal that I should always be working towards.  It has become the standard by which I have been challenged to compare my life to and goal my days to look like.  

BUT...

Some days I may hit 1 or 2 of those things at best.  Some days I hit verse 31:14 (She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.) But somedays my ships may over cook that food from "a far"or "A far" might just be Chinese take out.  Somedays I even get verse 15 (She gets up while it is still night;she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.) Where my alarm goes off and I am up before the sun rises.  I come downstairs turn on the coffee, dump a cup of milk in dry muffin mix and sit to read and pray while the oven heats. But as sure as my butt hits the couch I will hear little feet coming down the steps asking when breakfast will be finished.  I usually fuss a little about how I am TRYING to have Jesus time and breakfast will be finished after Jesus and I chat about it. It is ironic how grumpy I get about my time with our grace giving, love pouring, sacrificial Saviour. Hmmm?  

I can tell you that I never get verse 24 (She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.)

I have a sewing machine but sometimes it makes me say things and use words that I later have to pray about :#  The reality is, if I do get more than 2 things on the Prov 31 list it is a miracle.  If I get up before the sun, my children are NOT calling me blessed that evening. Because I am exhausted and grumpy.  If I did make them garments to wear, they would hide in the closet because of my sewing skills.  My "food from afar" is normally tough, dry, or burned.  I pray that I speak with wisdom but if you follow me through Walmart long enough all wisdom and sanity slips away. 

Proverbs 31 is a beautiful picture of a woman that honors her husband, her home, her children, and her God.  I almost imagine this woman who floats around perfectly loving, and taking care of all that she comes into contact with.  She probably even sprinkles glitter on her way. 

I have wondered recently if all that Proverbs 31 speaks of is just one day in the life of this woman.  One day in the life of a woman who finally pulled it together and got it all right for that one day. But what about the next day.  Where she can't get out of bed because she was up so early the day before.  Or she has blisters on her fingers from all of the clothing she made and sold.  Or she has diarrhea from that food from afar.  Or maybe just maybe T.O.M. shows up (Time Of Month) and she is just ticked off at everyone and needs some chocolate.
If there was a Proverbs 32 it might tell of the day after "perfection."

I guess I say all of this, to point out the fact that we aren't perfect.  If we were, then we wouldn't need a Savior.  Somedays we may get a little closer to being that person God calls us to be, but other days we may fail in a devastating way. It doesn't mean we don't try, it just means that we don't beat our selves up when we don't hit all of those verses.

I teach my children when their schooling is hard to NEVER say "I can't" but to always say "I will try". So the standard is set in Proverbs 31 and I will try. The beauty of a statement like "I will try" is that we serve a grace giving, forgiving God. So when those days come and we look more like a Proverbs 32 woman than a 31 woman we can remember that we serve a God that promises in Lamentations 3:22-24
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;^[a]
    his mercies never come to an end;
²³ they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
²⁴ “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
    “therefore I will hope in him.”

~LL

 

Stories

We have finally arrived and settled into our new homestead in Knoxville.  I never imagined in a million years that God would ever bring us back to Tennessee.  But...here we are :-) And more excited than ever to be a part of what God is doing at our new church Fellowship.

The past year for us has been hard but great, sad but full of joy, insanely crazy but at the core full of peace. It has been a unique road but ultimately just a small adventure in our life's journey.  When we resigned from our church in Virginia, we had no idea what God was asking us to do next.  All that we knew is that it was time for us to step out.  Over the course of that next year God taught us more than we thought possible.  He took us down a path that would help us to know Him deeper and ultimately have a greater understand of His call on the Church and our lives in ministry.

A few years ago on a Mother's day, I got to sit on a stage with some other ladies and share our "motherhood" stories.  We shared where we came from and the many different things that God had used to mold us into who we were.  I don't remember much about that day or the weeks leading up to it, because I was terrified to be on stage :-X.  Stage fright doesn't even begin to express the level of fear I experience when I have to be in front of a large audience. BUT.. God used that time to carve something very special into my heart.  The picture that is in my mind from that day is one of 6 people coming from VERY different places and all sitting on the same stage telling their "God story".  We had all made some very different choices, lived very different lives, chosen to follow Jesus as completely different times, and yet here we all sat. Together... one stage...and giving the One true God the glory. Isn't it so cool how God uses us in so many ways to tell His Story.  His story of love, redemption, grace, mercy, sovereignty, etc. 

So here I sit. In our beautiful home looking out at the mountains in the distance and I wonder about the many roads that it took to get here.  

Broken home= redeemed

heart ache of my teenage years=mercy shown 

bad choices=grace given 

wonderful husband=redemption 

beautiful children=merciful God 

church pain= God's love

My road, your road, our roads together have a purpose.  There is only one road to God and that is through Jesus but I know that God allows us to have many journeys to help us understand who He is. We may not understand the reason behind our travels but we CAN allow them to point to a gracious, loving, just God.  We can allow God to be glorified in all things. And it is there, on the stage of life that we can all sit together and tell our God stories, so vastly different, that point in the same direction.

~LL

PS This is one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite artists.  It is called Many Roads and it is by Andrew Peterson.  The video is of the song but the lyrics are below it.  Enjoy!

 If you'll step inside this great glass elevator 

It'll take us up above the city lights 
To where the planet curves away to the equator 
I want to show you something fine 

You can see the roads that we all traveled just to get here 
A million minuscule decisions in a line 
Why they brought us to this moment isn't clear 
But that's all right, we've got all night 

Could it be that the many roads 
You took to get here 
Were just for me to tell this story 
And for you to hear this song 
And your many hopes 
And your many fears 
Were meant to bring you here all along 

So if you'll trust me with your time I'll spend it wisely 
I will sing to you with all I have to give 
If you traveled all this way, then I will do my best to play 
My biggest hits (that don't exist) 

And if you'll lend to me your ear I'll sing 'em pretty 
I will never, ever sing 'em out of tune 
And I will not forget the words, 
Of any chorus, bridge, or verse 
I promise you 

CHORUS 

We've got Benjamin to play the grand piano 
If we're lucky it's a little out of tune 
We've got Andy on the guitar 'cause I promised him 
Some Texas barbecue 

How I love to watch you listen to the music 
'Cause you sing to me a music of your own 
As I cast out all these lines, so afraid that I will find 
I am alone, all alone 

Could it be that the many roads 
I took to get here 
Were just for you to tell that story 
And for me to hear that song 
And my many hopes 
And my many fears 
Were meant to bring me here all along 
We were meant to be right here all alongD

First Day of 3rd grade and senior year

I'll be honest, typing to the title makes me tear up a little. I think every year I write how hard it is to believe that they are that old. "They" being the Littles or the Bigs. But this year is special for Baily and Shelby.  Their Senior year.  It is a year where they are desperately trying to gain the courage and knowledge to step out from under our wings.  It is a year where we are trying hard to kick them out of the nest while still hugging them.  It is a curious fight of emotions where children who want to be adults still long for the comforts of childhood with the responsibility of "real life".

My prayer for this year is that Baily and Shelby with find the courage to step out and figure out who God is to them. That they will see through the lens of truth in which we raised them, but cling to the hope that God their father wants more for them than we could ever dream.

My prayer for Peyton and Barron is that they will find excitement in discovering the truths of God and all that He has created.  I pray that the foundation that is being built for them will be one that leads them into a life that is completely fully committed to following Jesus.

And more than anything else I pray that our children will fall so deeply in love with Jesus that they can't imagine living any other way.

~LL

Angry

What makes you angry? 

Slow people at green lights.  People walking down the wrong side of the aisle at Walmart.  People chewing with their mouth open. Taxes. Someone not calling you back.  Verizon. The DMV. Walmart. Having to repeat yourself over and over. Rude people.  Did I mention Walmart? People entering through the Exit.

But lets be honest... those things are just inconveniences that shouldn't really make us ANGRY.  Lets think about the things that REALLY make us angry.  Like down in the depths of your soul, can't sleep at night, gut wrenching, mess you up kind of angry.  Righteous anger. Soul Sadness kind of angry.

Did you know that in China,Village family-planning officers vigilantly chart the menstrual cycle and pelvic-exam results of every woman of childbearing age in their area? If a woman gets pregnant without permission and is unable to pay the often exorbitant fine for violating the policy, she risks being subjected to a forced abortion.
THAT SHOULD MAKE YOU ANGRY

A recent NewYorkTimes article published this, "Almost every one of the pregnant women I spoke to had suffered a mandatory abortion. One woman told me how, when she was eight months pregnant with an illegal second child and was unable to pay the 20,000 yuan fine (about $3,200), family planning officers dragged her to the local clinic, bound her to a surgical table and injected a lethal drug into her abdomen.

For two days she writhed on the table, her hands and feet still bound with rope, waiting for her body to eject the murdered baby. In the final stage of labor, a male doctor yanked the dead fetus out by the foot, then dropped it into a garbage can. She had no money for a cab. She had to hobble home, blood dripping down her legs and staining her white sandals red." read the entire article hear

THAT SHOULD MAKE YOU ANGRY

There are more slaves in the world today than at any other point in human history, with an estimated 27 million in bondage across the globe. Men, women, and children are being exploited for manual and sexual labor against their will. A21

THAT SHOULD MAKE YOU ANGRY

 The NewYorkTimes wrote another article called The Face of Modern Slavery where they tell the story of a 6 year old Cambodian girl. "Srey Pov’s family sold her to a brothel when she was 6 years old. She was unaware of sex but soon found out: A Western pedophile purchased her virginity, she said, and the brothel tied her naked and spread-eagled on a bed so that he could rape her.“I was so scared,” she recalled. “I was crying and asking, ‘Why are you doing this to me?’ After that, the girl was in huge demand because she was so young. Some 20 customers raped her nightly, she remembers. And the brothel twice stitched her vagina closed so that she could be resold as a virgin. This agonizingly painful practice is common in Asian brothels, where customers sometimes pay hundreds of dollars to rape a virgin."
THIS SHOULD MAKE YOU ANGRY
(Make sure to read the whole story because she survived it all)

Did you know that in India, one of the hot beds of sex trade, children are sold into slavery as part of a religious tradition? Daughters are offered to temples as a gift. As young as eight or nine years old, these girls are used by priests for their sexual pleasure. When they’re older, they are sold into brothels.

ARE YOU ANGRY YET?

I believe that we are all created differently.  With different passions and different callings on our life.  I believe what fires one person up may not fire another person up. Or what pushes one to act and respond may only make someone else sad. I get that.  I get that the murdering of innocent unborn babies may ANGER some people and they find that must do something.  Where impoverished dying people may break someones heart in such a way that they must go and do something.  Or women, girls, children being kidnapped and sold for sex may make some shake their heads while other weep and protest. But one thing must be central to all that forces us into action....Jesus.  I believe that we must love Jesus in such a way that we must do something about these horrible things. The overflow of love that we feel for God sending his only son to die for us must be action.  So whatever angers you or breaks your heart let your love for Jesus be what fuels you to go and help. Anything less than that does not have any eternal significance and that is what truly matters.

Isaiah 1:17  Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed.Take up the cause of the fatherless;
    plead the case of the widow.

Some ways to help:
A21 Ways to help
A21


Focus on the Family has some articles and tools that I like.
Cause for Concern (although it was written 5 years ago :(
Sex trafficking  (Stats are outdated :(

~LL

Insanity

I having been reading the book Insanity of God by Nik Ripken . It is a book that has really opened my eyes and made me shake my head about many things.  I can't decide if I am more angry about the things that are going on in our world  (outside of the US) or the fact that I had no idea about those things that are going on.  Nik tells of his journeys all over the world and his encounters with people in the persecuted church. One man talks of persecution being "as normal as the sun rise".

It confuses my "norm" that Christians are put in prison, beaten, starved, and even killed simply because they profess faith in Jesus.  I understand the stories of the bible and how Christians were martyred  for their faith, but we are talking about today. In this century.

My "norm" is waking up in the morning choosing to read my bible... or not, choosing to worship... or not, choosing to proclaim Jesus through my life... or not.  To be honest I sometimes don't think I take these choices very seriously.  I sometimes choose one way or the other depending on my mood, my children, the busyness of my day, or day of the week.
But what if living your faith determined if you lived or died?  What if choosing to bow you head before a meal, could land you in jail for years?  Would you do it?  What if leading a friend to Christ or even telling them about Christ could get you killed and possibly get them killed? Would you tell them?  What if "going to church" didn't mean putting on your pretty clothes and going into an auditorium to be entertained. But instead it actually meant sneaking through town, hiding from police, talking in code, only to arrive in a dark basement where you sit on the floor of a small abandoned basement to sing quietly and recite memorized scripture.  Would you want to invite people to meet "that Jesus"? 

I am trying very hard to wrap my mind around how we live and worship vs. how the rest of the world lives and worships.  I don't quite understand why we aren't talking more about this in churches in our country. Why were aren't striving desperately to live and love Jesus with the same passion that our persecuted brothers and sisters do?
I guess because at the end of the day it is much easier to pretend like we (American Christians) are the only ones worshiping. It is easier to simply play dress up with our rose colored glasses and ignore the fact that their are more Christians who were martyred in the 20th century than in all previous centuries combined 160,000 Christians were martyred in 2010 alone (that we know of).
What we can do:
*Cover them in prayers.  We must pray that God will give wisdom and peace as they fulfill the great commission in completely different ways than we do. And we must pray that in their persecution God will continue to be glorified.
 
What we can't do is ignore it all.  We can't continue to operate as if this isn't happening. We can't be quiet with our children. We must teach them so that they in turn can teach. We have got to take our blinders off and support and pray for Christians all over the world.



What may seem like insanity to us, might in turn only be a distorted view of reality.

Pray!

Jesus teaches that if one member suffers, all the members suffer ...1 Corinthians 12:26





~LL

Confused about Kermit

Kermit Gosnell.  Whew! Boy is he the topic on social media right now? A couple of days ago I watched this video about him...  (It is about 20 minutes and it has some pretty graphic stuff in it. But it is well done and really shines the light on the horrific things that this man has done.)

3801 Lancaster from 3801Lancaster on Vimeo.

After I watched it and cried a little through it, I sat for a while and just thought about it all. I thought about the different scenes that almost made me sick to my stomach.  I thought about the women that would come and go from that clinic and the desperate situation that they felt they were in.  I thought about the lack of churches stepping up to love these women though their desperate situation.  But then I thought about the babies.   It was the thoughts of the unborn and some born that made me angry.  And when I say angry I mean angry.  So angry that I couldn't talk about it because anything that would come out of my mouth would be hurtful and hateful.   I knew that I needed some time to think on my anger.  After a couple of days and many quiet moments, this is the conclusion I have come to.....

We as Christians have failed.  We have failed to show the world and it's women that we love them no matter what.  No matter what their choices are, no matter what choices they have made that have led them into their consequences, no matter what.  We as Christians have scared society into thinking that all we do is condemn and in turn all our God does is judge.  We have missed the opportunity to love people who are in desperate need of love and help.

We watch these videos and post tweets about how horrible this doctor is, but we forget it takes two to tango.  For all of the hundreds of babies this man murdered, there were hundreds of mothers that carried these babies into his office.  By failing to take care and love them we have failed to protect and love their children.

In my quiet moments I have also thought on why this man is getting so much attention.  The obvious answer is because he committed horrific crimes against babies.
But I would ask, how is he any different than any other abortionist?
Is it because the rooms were unsanitary? Is it because his clinic was in a low income area? Or is it because they were babies? It would seem that the simple answer is....He is getting so much attention because they were babies that he murdered. But that is not the right answer...because if we believe what we say...that  life begins at conception...then we would have to agree that babies are murdered every day. ALL(American Life League  ) says the numbers are around 3200 a day. That is one abortion every 26 seconds. 

So the right answer is, because it is all very ugly.  It is all in our face. It makes us feel awful and sick to our stomachs. We think, how can we sit back and let something this horrific go unspoken of?  What about all of those precious, innocent babies that he murdered day after day, without anyone caring or speaking out for them?  What about those poor women, who felt like they had no other options than to go into a blood stained medical office and ask for anything, let alone medical treatment?  What about the story after story of lives taken before they even were given a chance? What about the BABIES? 

Well, that is the right answer.  Let this man Kermit Gosnell bring to light the horrific act of murdering babies. Let him appall us so much that we are driven to speak out in defense of the the innocent.  But let us not forget the millions that are murdered each year in clean procedure rooms, in nice office buildings, with doctors operating under the law. Because those abortions are still killings of the innocent.

 So lets stop screaming, and tweeting, and facebooking about one abortionist, and start screaming, and tweeting, facebooking about ALL abortionists.

 It is a sad time in our country when society judges a crime against the innocent based on the age of the innocent.  A baby is a baby. A life is a life.

~LL

Sick and tired

I sit this morning at a local Chick-fil-a eating breakfast, catching up on some reading, and watching the sun rise.  I left my house this morning pretty early because I couldn't sleep.  My alarm was due to go off around 6am (which means I might roll out of bed around 6:30ish) but my body was done with sleeping around 4:50 😟. This crazy weather we are having, is reeking havoc on my body. Coughing and sneezing have become my new language.  So instead of waking the entire house with my dog barking cough, I went where any sensible person would go until her local chick-fil-a opened.....Walmart. After wishing all of my local Walmart employees a barking good morning, I now watch the sunrise.

This morning as I sit here scrolling Facebook, blogs and twitter, I notice a common theme and it is driving me crazy. So while I am sick and tired and my filter is a little thin, I thought I would share what is making me mad (crazy not angry...maybe:)

When someone says something that is really clever, cute, wise, profound and you (or I ) want to repeat it, retweet it, preach it, or blog it...for crying out loud....give that clever, cute, wise, profound person some credit.   I can't decide if it is pride or simply laziness that keeps people from giving credit where credit is do, but none the less it is wrong.  It is stealing.
I am a pretty avid reader and I can not count the times that I have heard people quote things out of books that I have read and then claim it as their own or say nothing and it is implied that it is their material.
I just saw 4 different times on face book where people were quoting Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty. He did a great little interview for Lifeway about his faith and Church folks are all excited and quoting him left and right. Don't get me wrong it is a great interview, made me an even bigger fan, but...give poor old Phil the credit he deserves.  He's funny and when you use his lines, like they are yours....you are NOT funny. You are a thief.

I don't think that it makes someone seem less creative or less wise when they give credit to the person  who originally said it.  But I DO think that it makes someone look very foolish when they make a great comment, tweet, or tell a clever story and then someone googles it only to find out that it originated another time and place. Not that I would ever google someones tweet...ok I would....and have.

So, the sun is up and it is a beautiful morning.  I am going to finish my breakfast and then head off to Lifeway.  Hopefully my filter will get a little thicker and I will feel a little better.

But for now....thanks for listening to my little rant.

~LL

Helped

I wanted to post some different article links, podcast links and sermons link of some things that God is using to teach me with right now.  I am doing it for 2 reasons: 1- so that I can easily find them if I want to reference them again :). And 2- in hopes that they would help someone else in the way that they have helped me.

Right now I am reading:
JI Packer's Knowing God
and David Platt's Follow Me. (Wow! Trailer for the book)

Podcast:
Theology Refresh: Doctrine of Hell
Celebrity Factor



Sermons:
Piper at Passion 2013
Tony Merida at Imago Dei teaching Exodus 32
and The making of..
Matt Chandler from Code Orange  God is for God

Videos:
Francis Chan, Driscoll, Harris sit down and talk to Chan about his choices
Mark Dever on Numbers
Francis Chan Hero


L

Bad Theology

When Bear was about 2, we noticed his love of music.  He is always dancing, always drumming something, and always singing.  In the bathroom, in the shower, in his bed, in the car.  It doesn't matter when or where he is, he seems to always have songs rolling through his little brain.  Pey is a little quieter about it.  But there are times when I will catch her in the rear view mirror, with her mouth open as big as she can, singing like she is center stage.  But if she sees me looking, she buries her head and stops.  

As I have seen their love for music and how they pick up the lyrics to songs, it has forced me to be a little hard core about what we listen to. Nothing like driving down the road hearing your precious little children singing...Some Spice Girls "If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give, taking is too easy, but that's the way it is". 

I have not only seen their love of music grow but I also have seen their little inquisitive minds growing as they begin to ask what are songs about. So imagine me driving down the road needing to explain to a 5 year old what a "Lover" is. Nope....I'll pass...anybody want some icecream. 

I am asked on a regular basis about what songs mean.  Bear asked yesterday, "What are angel armies?" (Chris Tomlin). Or he has listened to the Sanctus Real song Lead me and we had a conversation about him being a husband one day.  

I was on the way home the other night and I was all alone.  Which means I get to listen, sing, dance or just think, to whatever I want.  It was a thinking night :-)  The Christian radio station was on but I deep in thought about the Gospel.  I had been reading Follow Me by David Platt so my brain was there in David Platt land. Early in the book he talks about how we go about presenting the gospel.  Just ask Jesus into your heart. Simply invite Christ into your life. Repeat this prayer after me, and you will be saved. He goes on to talking about how "simple" we make it for people to come to Christ. I was thinking how we either on purpose or unknowingly deceive people for the sake of the Gospel or for the sake of our own pride. We feed them a bill of sale that their life will be better,safer,easier, full of joy, happiness, prosperity.  But show me where it says that in the Bible. 

And then it happened.  There was a song on the radio that went something like this, "Sin is powerless, we will not be shaken, Our God is for us."  The song goes on and on quoting different bible verses completely out of context.  

God showed me that we can make the Bible say many different things.  It can say the truth like He meant it or it can say whatever we twist it into.  I can say cute little "fortune cookie" phrases.  Or it can call you to die. 

  2 Timothy 4:3-4 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, ⁴ and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.

So what does one do when they realize that they are listening to bad theology?  

How do I protect myself, my family from false teaching?

How do I get in the car, turn on the radio, and let my littles memorize songs that are about Jesus, but twist    the scripture?  

What"s the alternative?  

I don't know, but what I do know is that God is stretching my brain.:-)  by giving me knew things to think about and be on guard for. He is telling me to KNOW my bible.  How do you test if something is "sound teaching" or not if you don't know your bible?

He is showing me that He did not call us to an easy life. He is showing me that the eye of the needle is a narrow path that is not simple, quick, or easy and He is showing me that to give Him glory in everything that goes on, requires focus. 

God please help us to not be distracted.

~LL

Valentine's Day

About 10 years ago, hubby and I stopped fighting for Valentines for each other and started embracing it as a family. At that time we only had 2 little princesses. But now.....10 years later, 3 states later, add some more kiddos, and not much has changed for us.  Here's what we do to embrace the chaos of a kind of silly, Hallmark holiday and turn it into a time to love on our family.

First I plan a nice meal.  (I budget what we would spend on a night out with the 2 of us on a nice date.) it is amazing what that will get you when you spend wisely.  I usually light candles, and decorate the table in some cheesy dollar store V-day décor. (Confetti, heart cut outs, etc.) then we eat. :) The years have been different. Some years there is lots of chocolate. Some years there are roses. Some years there is music. Some years there have been candle lit bubble baths.  But whatever we do we celebrate our family loving each other.  In the early years of doing it we used to make it all about celebrating the princesses in our home. But now it has turned more into a night of  loving each other.

This year we will eat together by candle light, with nice music (maybe a little dance party 🙈)  and then we are watching the movie Amazing Love. Which is a telling of the story of Hosea.  It should be a great night!

How ever you celebrate Valentine's Day, do it because you want to show someone you love them.  Not because Hallmark tells you to buy a card.

~££

Humility Vs Hype

The question that has plagued me today is:

~How do we as Christians live in a world that is self promoting, self indulgent, self serving, self, self, self, and not subscribe to it all?

~How do we tell others about Jesus, love people, serve people all while only glorifying God and not glorifying self? Look what I did. See who I told.  Look how many came.

 I work in a book store that is full of authors who have become insanely confused with the topic of "self glorification vs. God glorification". Their books are about promoting themselves, telling stories about themselves, telling their ideas, their ideology, even their theology....all the while glorifying themselves instead of their creator. Then there are other books that teach you to put you first and want to teach you to promote yourself. Pray the right prayers to get what you want. Live your best life. Create the life you want. They seem to be about you, me, we, us and not about HIM.

If you actually read the books you will find them talking about praying to God for what you want, finding the "greatness" that God created for you to do, or praying the right prayer to make something happen. After all doesn't the bible say that YOU can do ALL things through Christ who gives YOU strength. Phil. 4:13 Pastors/Speakers/Authors throw that scripture around all the time so that we can use it to feel empowered to live our own ambitions with "God's Strength". They speak as if God exists for you/me instead of the other way around.

Now don't hear me wrong, there are authors that are not about themselves. They teach/preach all about the gospel. They tell their life stories, but their stories aren't ultimately about themselves. They teach all about glorifying God. Living a life that is for the glory of God not for the glory of self.
If you wonder where you fall in these 2 categories of books or authors then ask yourself which end of a telescope do you use when you view God?  Are you small or is He?

Back to my original question. How do we as Christians not get caught up in the hype of "self"? 

The conclusion I have come to today is this.....

We SERVE others instead of expecting to be served.

We LOVE others even when we feel unloved or they seem unlovable.

We TELL others about Jesus not about ourselves.

We GO and make disciples not go and get twitter followers.

And we do all of it without shouting it from the rooftops or tweeting about it. 

The definition of hype is : Extensive Publicity.

The definition of humility is: Not proud or Bold, Meek  

We must draw close to God, feed ourselves with good, sound teaching of the gospel and live in a way that only points to God. It is then and there that we can attempt to live humbly and somewhere in that humble life we are striving to live, if we are able to forget about our attempts to be humble, may we then in forgetting ourselves take the first steps towards humility.  

CS Lewis says in Mere Christianity:

Do not imagine that if you meet a really humble man he will be what most people call “humble” nowadays: be will not be a sort of greasy, smarmy person, who is always telling you that, of course, he is nobody.

Probably all you will think about him is that he seemed a cheerful, intelligent chap who took a real interest in what you said to him. If you do dislike him it will be because you feel a little envious of anyone who seems to enjoy life so easily. He will not be thinking about humility: he will not be thinking about himself at all.

2 Timothy 3-5 (The Message) You're going to find that there will be times when people will have no stomach for solid teaching, but will fill up on spiritual junk food—catchy opinions that tickle their fancy. They'll turn their backs on truth and chase mirages. But you—keep your eye on what you're doing; accept the hard times along with the good; keep the Message alive; do a thorough job as God's servant.

LL

Gut Feeling

Do you ever get that "gut feeling" about something?  That "this doesn't feel right" feeling?  So many times we get that feeling and we brush it off.  Call it paranoia or being too sensitive or better yet....we think we are being judgmental towards someone.  
I can not tell you how many times I have had a bad feeling about someone or something only to speak up about it after the fact. Well, a while back I made a decision to start speaking up about my feelings.  Now I don't necessarily point at people and scream "EVIL" but I do have conversations with my hubby or even my children.
So now I have gotten to the point where I will pull him aside and say something like, "I can't put my finger on it, but something is off about XYZ." Sometimes we can talk it out and figure out why it is that I have that feeling but sometimes we just trust the gut feeling. That gut feeling has had me take a different road home, do a double check on door locks, not befriend someone, pull my children closer, and even choose to stay home sometimes.
I believe that God gives us this feeling as a way to protect us.  I think many times it is the Holy Spirit alerting us to something going on.  Who knows what things God has protected me from all because I have listened to to that "gut feeling".
One day we were at Walmart and I had the Littles with me.  They were probably 5 or 6 years old at the time.  We were in line and a gentleman in front of me turned and spoke to the two of them.  Bear turned and looked at me (as if to ask permission to speak to the man) and then with an ok nod from me, he proceeded to have a small conversation.  But not Pey. She turned towards me and step very close almost like she was hiding.  I didn't push, I didn't even draw attention to what she was doing.  I simply put my arm around her and let her stay close.  After the man left and we went on our way I had a conversation about what had happened.  I praised Bear for getting permission to speak to a stranger and then I ask Pey what had happened.  I asked her to try and explain how she felt.  Of course she couldn't so I asked,"Did you feel happy, sad, scared, or embarrassed, when the man spoke to you?"  And she said,"I kind of felt embarrassed, but kind of scared."  What she was feeling was that "gut feeling" I am talking about.  And I know it because I felt it too.  The truth is, when this man spoke to my children I immediately wanted to walk away.  But we were in the line at the store.  So I stayed.  What I didn't tell you, was that I had this entire conversation with my children while we sat on the bench in the front of Walmart, because my "gut feeling" said wait to go outside.
Now I can't tell you that this man was some pedophile or on America's Most Wanted, but I can tell you that 2 out of the 3 people that met him that day in Walmart, had a bad feeling about him.  My point in telling you this story is to encourage you to tech your children to pay attention to how they "feel" in situations.  If they "feel" unsafe then they probably are.  If the "feel" like someone or something is out of place, it probably is.  People can be very fake and can try to make you feel like everything is ok But trusting the Holy Spirit to lead a guide you is something that is deeper than that surface level stuff that people can put on.
That day in the store I told both of my children about "gut feelings". I told them how God does that to protect them.  I also went on to tell them that they will never get into trouble for being rude to someone if they have a gut feeling and act on it.  I guess worse case scenario is that they would be wrong and they would offend someone.  But I can apologize for that.  I can't apologize for someone harming my children or harming me.

2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love and sound judgement.


LL

Embracing the little things

In the chaos of our lives it is easy to miss the little things because we are wrapped up in multi-tasking.
How many times do we say "in a minute" or "be right there" or hit the ignore button, simply because we are in grossed in some silly little thing that we feel can't wait?

I know that is true for me and my life because of our current chaos. I find that I am constantly trying to mulit-task.  Do the laundry, while I brush my teeth and answer a text.  I mean come on....by the time I am finished, I have folded the phone, brushed the laundry and my breath still stinks.  Or how about this...yesterday I baked cookies, made 2 quiches, did a Spanish lesson (for myself, thank you Rosetta), put together a birthday present, ran laundry up and down the stairs, and....got caught up on a tv show. I even managed to dump some baking soda in a dish and put vinegar in some bowls with food coloring for Barron to paint/create some science.  All in a matter of about an hour and a half.  Why did I do all of that?  Because I have convinced myself that I have no time other wise.
But the truth is 1, 2 ,3, kind of sort of 4 children in my home got 0% of my attention. In all of my "accomplishments" I managed to miss the forest for the trees.  I missed the opportunity to let someone bake with me, to maybe teach a teenager how to make a quiche, to let a little person help with laundry,to spend time talking instead of watching tv, to do Spanish with a child and let them help me :-) or to enjoy science together as a family.
The funny thing (not so funny thing) is that when I finished yesterday, I thought... "wow! I am supermom."  But in reality I just endured our chaos, instead of embracing it.  I don't say all of this to feel sorry for myself.  I say it because we all run around trying to cram so much into our lives that we miss the little things that God uses to show himself to us.  If we can just slow down a little and look up from ourselves then we can begin to embrace the life that God has given us.  The husband, children, family, friends that God has given us.

I know that life gets away from us sometimes.  Sometimes the laundry gets out of control, sometimes dinner is burning, sometimes you just need to sit down....alone....in a room.... alone.....   But what if when our kiddos said "hey mom, can I show you something?" we got up from whatever we were doing and went and saw. Or what if when they asked us to play...we went and played. What if when your husband said "hey can we talk for a second?" you sat your stuff down and listened.  What if you sat down your phone and looked you teenager in the eyes and said, "tell me about your day." What if when that needy friend, who always has a little more drama that you can handle....what if when she calls, you answer the phone and listen with compassion.

We have to come to a point where we realize:
The phone call can wait.
The laundry can wait.
The cooking can wait.
The cleaning can wait.
The texting can wait.
The facebook can wait.
Our social life can wait.
The project can wait.

or

Your family can wait.

If your family waits for too long.... they eventually will grow up, they will get busy, and someday they will walk around you instead of to you.
Life keeps moving at crazy speeds rather we like it or not. We have to open our eyes and embrace the little things (and little people) around us or we are going to miss out on so much that God has for us.


More than Endure the Chaos.....Embrace it!

LL

Embracing the Chaos

Our lives have changed considerably over the past 5 months.  We went from being fully employed in the ministry world to being sometimes half, sometimes none, sometimes a lot employed in the real world.  I hesitate to use the labels "real world" and "ministry world" because that insinuates that the ministry world is not real.  If you ask anyone who is or has been in ministry they will quickly tell you that the ministry world is far too real sometimes.  But none the less they are two different worlds. 

When we decided to resign our position at our church, it was extremely difficult.  On one hand we loved our church and loved being a part of what God was doing there.  But on the other hand we could see that God was showing us, through different things, that it was our time to leave. 

Once we left our church, I believe we had grand expectations about what God would do with our obedience... But instead....He has placed us in a holding pattern while He teaches us some lessons. I would be tempted to complain about what God is doing right now, but....I can see and feel what He is teaching us. He is molding our hearts and opening our eyes to be able to view things through new lens.

I have been chomping at the bit for a while to get back into writing, but I just haven't had the words to put down.  A full heart and a ton on my mind, but no words to write until now.

I recently heard a sermon by John Piper while he was at Passion 2013  click to listen/watch
titled Embracing Suffering. He spoke about enduring suffering vs. embracing suffering.  It is definitely a wow! sermon that is worth your time.  Now I by no measure can call what we are going through "suffering" but I can definitely call it chaos.  Many days hubby and I are flying by each other trying to home school, feed, love, have fun and not ruin our children.  The other days when we find that we actually have a moment to spare, we are too tired to really do anything. 

So how do you do more than "just survive"?  How do you embrace the chaos that many of us live in, rather than just enduring it? Life has been busy in the past, but not like this.  We were busy in ministry because the job or the church demanded it; but we are busy now because we are paid hourly and each hour provides for a need of ours.  Definitely a different perspective that I am incredibly grateful for God allowing us to see.

Back to answering my questions....

With kiddos you can't just survive.  If you do "just survive", you will wake up one morning and they will be graduating from high school and you will have missed out on SO much.  But working, cleaning, shopping, cleaning, sleeping, cleaning, cooking, much less church and or volunteering in one, doesn't allow for much time to BE with anyone...kids, spouse, God, friends,etc. It is a tough job to balance it all. 

I use another blog sometimes and it is called Intentional Chaos.  It is a place where I blogged about intentional ways that we spent time with the kids.  Most of the time it is through Family Nights.  These nights are always themed something crazy and include food, movies, dress up and games around that theme.  It is a fun way to include some intentional family time into a busy life.  We would just stop doing "whatever" for one night and be intentionally chaotic to have som family fun.

But how do you stop doing something when everything you do serves the purpose of providing for your family?  You don't.  You learn how to do those things that you HAVE to do in a way that is fun and inclusive for your family.  You learn how to spend time together without spending money. You learn how to live simply, by simply living life together.

Somethings that I do to help with a busy life are no different than what I used to do. One thing that I have done for a while is Menu Planning.  It is a life saver.  I was constantly stressed out at dinner time. Cooking the actual meal didn't stress me out, but coming up with what I should cook would stress me out. It also keeps the kids from continually asking "Mom!!! What's for dinner???" Which would also stress me out. So here is how I do Menu planning- I use forms off Donna Young's website. If you have never been there then you are missing out.  She has a form for everything!!  Menus, calendars, hand writing practice etc.  I recently made a binder that includes a calendar, shopping lists, and menus.  I keep it out of the way on the counter and I write in it anytime I need to add something to the grocery list.  I make my grocery list according to my menu.  It helps keep buying under control.  You don't buy anything you aren't planning on eating that week.  I shop for two weeks at a time so all I need it  two menus. I used to put dates on my menus but I have now stopped dating my food planning menus.  That way if I am not in the mood to make a new menu I can just pull out one of the old ones  and use it.
I love cook books and Pinterest even more :-)  So I keep blank menus in my binder for when I see new recipes I want to try.  I just add them onto the menu.  So I always have a working menu going on. I will write the recipe on the back of the menu or just write "pinterest" after the title, that way I can remember that I pinned it to my Recipe board on Pinterest.

This week I wanted to try a new menu but didn't really want to sit down and come up with everything new.  So I named this week "Favorites week"  I went to each one of the kids and asked what their favorite meal was (that we eat at home :-) and then I made our menu.  

It looked like this:

Sunday- Left overs - No Cooking :-)
Monday- Chicken and Steak on the grill with veggies. (Hubby and My favorite :-)
Tuesday- Noodle Pizza - PeyPey's favorite Pre-made pizza crust, one bag of cheese and a box of PastaRoni.  Not the healthiest but with a salad it keeps you from a carb coma.
Wednesday- Hamburgers and Mac n Cheese - Bear's favorite
Thursday- Potato Soup in the Crock pot -Bay's Fav.
Friday- Breakfast-Eggs, bacon, biscuits, hash browns - Shel's fav. 
Saturday- Quiche and Asparagus

So for this week I literally came up with 1 thing to cook.  AND each one of the kids feels special because they have a night that THEY came up with. ou should see the smiles when I am making ttheir favorite. It is a way that I have embraced our chaos of planning meals with the family and included the kids in the task.

Life is CRAZY no matter what world you live in.  But it is up to you if you will just pull yourself up by the boot straps and endure it  OR if you will run to the chaos and embrace it.

Some may say that we are promised prosperity, goodness, and favor but the Bible speaks differently. So to put my hope in the things of this world or in the things that this world can bring me would be foolish.  Instead, for the here and now I will look only to Jesus and allow him to help me embrace this chaotic world.  But I will certainly keep my eyes looking forward, because this world is not my home. And in the meantime I will embrace the chaos.


Rev. 21
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. ² And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. ³ And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place^[a] of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people,^[b] and God himself will be with them as their God.^{[c] 4} He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
⁵ And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” ⁶ And he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. ⁷ The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son. ⁸ But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”



~LL