I am someone who is rarely at a loss for words :-). I am either blogging them, texting them, or saying them. But one way or another....you can always count on them coming out of this brain of mine.
Recently I have found myself in a place with nothing to say. I can't seem to blog or even talk about all that is going on in our lives except to say "God is just so good". As much as I love to sit and write about how I feel and pour out my emotions on a screen, I just couldn't. As I sit here this morning I am going to try to write out why I haven't had the words.
You see about 5 1/2 years ago God moved us from seminary into an amazing church. Full of people who loved on us and a Pastor we adored. But then that crumbled. A year or so later we moved into a new church. Full of people who were passionate, loved Jesus, and had big dreams. But then that crumbled. When we left that second church we moved back to Hubby's hometown. Where we filed bankruptcy and foreclosed on the home we left. My crohn's disease was bad. Our finances were bad. We didn't have a home. Hubby didn't have a job. And we were emotionally were spent. On the outside our lives were in ruins. But by the grace of God our family was closer then ever.
I took a full-time job at a retailer and Hubby took over my homeschooling and house duties. Slowly day by day God began to rebuild our lives. We hunted for a new church. Scared and leery of anyplace that even slightly resembled the messed up places we had left. We had been hurt tremendously and feared a 3rd church disaster might just do us in. We were invited to Lifepoint by a girl I worked with. She kept telling me what a great church it was and how we should come on out and visit. So we did.
Over the next weeks, months, and now 2 years we have invested our hearts, lives, and time at Lifepoint. Hubby went from being volunteer staff, to part-time, to now full-time. Over the past 2 years we have seen God move in the lives of people, like I have never seen before. People ask us why the church is growing so fast and the only answer I can come up with is, "Because God is changing people's lives."
My recent "loss for words" comes because of the amazing things we have been experiencing at the church and in our lives. God is pouring out His blessings on our church and our lives in ways that I can't completely explain. For so long I feel like I have prayed for God to help us through "something....anything". But over the past how ever many months my prayers have just been Thanksgiving. Now don't hear me wrong. Life has still had it's moments of being really tough. Because.....duh.....life IS tough. But I think I see it differently. I feel like I now see it all as true blessings. The good and the bad. I see the blessings are more obvious because of our past heart ache. I feel like the real change has happened because we are where God wants us to be. We have locked arms with a group of people who have decided to charge the gates of hell with - passion, honor, and generosity.
For a while I bought into the lie that Lifepoint was just "a mountain top experience". That it wouldn't last and life eventually would become crappy again. I found myself waiting for the other shoe to drop. But I don't buy that lie anymore. I now see that God has allowed for those hard times, so that we could CLEARLY see His blessings.
I have been so over whelmed lately with different blessings and gifts that have come to us. Some of them are actual things, but some of them are words, some of them are friendships. All I can do is shake my head in amazement. Words can not do justice for the gratitude I feel for all that God has done. I am so thankful. My heart is so full is almost hurts.
~LL
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