Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Change

I love change!  For some, for many, change is hard and they hate it.  New restaurants, new hair styles, house, town, car, Pajama pants.  Nope not gonna change, they are even praying God will hook them up in Heaven with the same stuff :-)
But what can I say?  I really do enjoy the newness that change brings. I don't like settling into something for a long time.  A job, a house, a pattern, etc.  I love changing it up.  I am sure you could "Dr. Phil me"  and figure out why I am like that, but for now we are just gonna run with it.  I realize that there are some things that we should never want to change....husband...... kids....church ....friends.....
For a long time I lived where church would have never made that list.  But now I pray it never changes.
Something else change brings is FIRSTS.  The older you get, the less and less FIRSTS you get to experience.  But if you like change....then you get to experience FIRSTS again and again.  Like moving a chair in your living room to sit under a different window.
I have been involved in Women's Bible study at our church for over a year now.  That was change for me.  For the longest time I have been involved in only children's ministry.  Nothing that was just mine.  I think God allowed me to step into that new place in my life because He wanted to show me something new ~Friendship.  I have had many friends all of my life but none like these ladies.  They have prayed for me, loved on me, and laughed at with me. We have definitely grown close through 3 bible studies together.  But soon I began to feel that stirring again that was itching for change. It is like my heart becomes unsettled.  It is almost like when you have too much coffee and chocolate in one sitting.  (ok not really)  Sometimes when that begins to happen I have to pray the God will calm my heart.  Because I have been known to jump into things when it isn't right.  But sometimes I can tell, plain as can be, that it is God doing the stirring.  And this was one of those times.  We began steps to start our 4th Bible study together.  I was sitting back ready to go, but without a book.  I just couldn't bring myself to buy it.  AND I WORK IN LIFEWAY that sells it.  After one meeting together and ALOT of women, I knew God's stirring was for me to step out and start another group.
The next day I made some phone calls to our leaders and they very quickly told me how they had been praying that God would raise up a new leader.  (Isn't God so great like that?)  The next week, I went back to that Bible study to announce that a new group would be branching out of that current group.  We asked who would be willing to give up their seat and go with me.  Only 1 person raised their hand.  (huh?) I left that night and had a LONG conversation with God.  I cried over the women that I was going to leave.  I love my group. And now God was calling me to go and no one was really following.  Crap! Was I not listening?  Was this not what I was supposed to be doing?  Was God talking to the person next to me to go and I was ease dropping? 
A couple of weeks later we had a small groups push at church.  We have the most amazing Small Groups Pastor who worked crazy hours to pull this day off.  He kept telling me how great it was that I hardly had anyone in my group, so that left tons of spaces for new people to sign up.  I even started telling myself that.  But deep down, I felt deflated and lonely. I just didn't understand why God would call me out to leave this group that I love so much and to do it alone. Then I got an email....One of the sweet ladies in that group began telling me how she had been praying very hard about what to do and God was leading her to come with me.  Then one of my best friends lets me know that she will be coming.  I was thrilled. At least there would be 3 people :-)
Our first service happened and everyone came by to sign up for small groups and I had ONE person sign up. Really?  God?  What are you doing? Humbling me that is for sure.  So with a smile on my face and a little bit of a hidden attitude, I greeted round 2 after the 2nd serve.  And it was there that we had 15 ladies sign up.  (Side note-all in all I only had spots for about 5-6 ladies).  I ended up having to call people and place them on a waiting list.
God is so faithful.  He really does know the plans He has for us :-)  I had do do a little repentance praying after that day at church :-)

A little over a year ago, God led me to a place of rest.  I rested in the comfort of loving friends and the grace of God.  But last night God led me into a new place a new first, where I get to be that "rest" for someone else. I get to be the loving friend to 12 new ladies. The next 7 weeks we will be walking through a study on Jonah.  And it is all about God interrupting our lives and taking us somewhere we never planned to go.



~LL

2 comments:

brenna said...

Awesome!! I miss our small group chat time. Really, I just miss being near you all to have our hang out time together :(

Kimberly said...

Wish I was nearby to join your bible study group. :) I feel you girl, and can totally relate to the 'change' or 'stirring'. Love you guys!