A New Journey -1

A have hesitated for a while about sharing this story, simply because it involves alot of people. I am always cautious to write about other people because sometimes people can get offended by silly things. :-) So as I write this story I do so cautiously. I pray that if you are someone in the story, you will be flattered that I wrote about you and enjoy that you are a part of MY story and a journey that God has graciously allowed me to travel.

A couple of months ago I sat down and wrote a blog that I couldn't publish. I just desperately needed to write down how I was feeling. I have now come to realize that the events that led up to that blog, were only the first steps of an amazing adventure that is only beginning.

Here is that blog:
Yesterday morning I woke to my alarm. My first thoughts were, "God I know I need to get up...but I can't. Please help!" Struggling to get out of bed, I heard my phone buzzing in the other room. I quickly learned that a friend in our life group had lost her sister in the night. In the next hours our Pastor's wife and I would sit beside a grieving 23 year old and her family. Her 21 year old sister died in a car accident during the night. I won't try for even a moment to imagine the grief and loss that this family is feeling right now. I won't express "hallmark phrases" to try and ease or understand their pain. Because I know that I can't.

As Tammy (our Pastor's wife) and I drove to her apartment we were praying for her. I prayed that God would wrap is arms around her and that she would feel his peace and love. I prayed for wisdom and strength for the family is they walked this unimaginably hard road. Both Tammy and I knew that our job over the coming hours would be to love and to listen. We didn't need BIG answers or the "right" words, we knew that God would take care of that. We sat with our friend for a while and God showed himself in incredible ways. Our friend talked about her sister and her life. But then she said something that has profoundly impacted me....she said,"I know that my sister is sitting with Papa (the Shack reference), Jesus is sitting beside me, and the Holy spirit is inside holding me up. She talked about how God has been showing her of a relationship that she can have with him like the one of Papa and Mack in the Shack. She said," And now I know why, He knew that I would need him to sit on the bed with me today." She said that this morning she felt like she could feel Jesus, with his arms wrapped around her, holding her.
Last night as I laid in my bed I was so overwhelmed with the goodness of God. I was overwhelmed with the sacrifice that people have made in order to bless others.
A day has passed and we have seen people from all corners of our church and other churches come together to embrace them. We have seen God move mountains with broken relationships. And we pray that the lost might be reached through this tragedy.

You know how you can see your breath outside when it starts to get cold? I imagine that the events of the past days are what it looks like when God breathes.

My heart is overwhelmed again as I re-read what I wrote on that day. I think I will stop and continue writing tomorrow. As I think back over that unbelievable day in September I see that Heidi's death was a catalyst that started a chain of events in my life that has forever changed my faith. The amazing thing is I have never met her. One day I know I will be able to hug her and tell her Thank You.



Phil 1:6
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

Faith

Last night our Pastor read Hebrews 11 to our church leadership. I have written a part of it below.

1 Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.
2 Through their faith, the people in days of old earned a good reputation.
3 By faith we understand that the entire universe was formed at God's command, that what we now see did not come from anything that can be seen.

(It goes on to list the Faith Hall of Fame. I pick back up in verse 37)

37 Some died by stoning, some were sawed in half,s and others were killed with the sword. Some went about wearing skins of sheep and goats, destitute and oppressed and mistreated.
38 They were too good for this world, wandering over deserts and mountains, hiding in caves and holes in the ground.
39 All these people earned a good reputation because of their faith, yet none of them received all that God had promised.
40 For God had something better in mind for us, so that they would not reach perfection without us.

Faith. It is an honor to walk this faith road with the people of Lifepoint.

God I pray as we walk this road that you will find us faithful. I pray for the lives that have been changed because of what you are doing through Lifepoint. But I also pray for the lives that WILL be changed because of what you will do in the future.

Mercy

Lamentations 3:22-24

22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
23 Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
24 I say to myself, "The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!"


Thank you God for your new mercies every morning. Thank you for my inheritance and hope in you. May my day be full of opportunities to show you shining through me.

13

My beautiful baby girls turn 13 today!!! I can't believe it has been 13 years since God gave them to me. Our family has traveled down so many roads in 13 years. Many states, jobs, homes, schools,friends,churches. Many changes and few constants. But the few constants that we have had have proved to be the MOST important. God and family. I am so thankful for the many adventures that we have been on and I am even more thankful that we have gotten to do it together. Baily and Shelby have gone from being these bouncey little girls to these beautiful,spunky, young ladies. We laugh together and cry together. But most importantly....We do life together.

Thank you God for allowing me to mother Baily and Shelby. I pray that they grow into women that point people toward you. I pray that they are women of influence, women of peace, and women of honor. I pray that they use everything you have given them, to honor you and bring people to you.

Fear

Been so busy with traveling and life. I feel like it has been so long since I blogged. I miss writing. I miss hashing out the thoughts in my head. I will do better!

I am on week 4 of the Beth Moore Esther study. Each week has caused me to reflect on the past troubles or stories that our family or I have gone through. Honestly....I find that none really apply to me RIGHT NOW. All have been great weeks and I find so much joy in reflecting and remembering how God has shown himself through so many situations.

But...
This week was about fear. I feel like I have struggled with fear for a very long time. Fear of abandonment, fear of death, fear of children dying, fear fear fear. I have blogged about different fears on numerous occasions. As I have learned to recognize my fears, I have also learned to deal with them. Giving them to God and trusting that no matter what....even if my worst fears come true.....then He is still in control and everything that happens is about His love for us.
In last night's study Beth Moore talked about playing out your worst fear. And then she asked "Then what?" If your worst fear happens, then what?
Point: No matter what happens.... eventually you will get up and move on. As hard as that seems....we eventually will move on.
So that got me to thinking about my worst fear. Realizing that if I have a "worst fear" then I give the enemy something to use.
1 John 4:18
"For Such love has no fear...." Thank you God that you love us in such a way that we have nothing to fear. Thank you for giving us the chance to love others in the same way that you love us. Thank you for taking my fears and turning them into opportunities to see you work.