A New Journey -3

Continues.....

After I left on the Monday I did nothing. I simply went home with my emotions and moved on with my week. The week included alot of business for the funeral of our friend's sister, but other than that....nothing abnormal. At some point during the week as I thought everything out I made a decision to write a letter to the headquarters of my job. With great wisdom, my Hubby told me to sleep on it.....for a WEEK. :-) He normally tells me to sleep on things, because he knows that I am a reactionary person. I ended up sending it to 3 people in the company in the early part of the next week. All three people, were people that would hopefully read the letter and hear my heart. The letter talked about the story that had happened and it spoke of the true meaning of ministry, what that means to me, and ultimately what that should mean to them.

Then my family left to go on vacation. We went to see my mom and step-dad in Tn, my brother and his family in Ga., and then some dear friends of our in Ky. It was a much needed break from all of the chaos of the previous weeks.
In the latter part of the trip I got a call from the corporate offices in Nashville. They received my letter!!
I talked for over an hour about my side of the story and how I felt about it all. When the conversation was over, I felt like my goal was accomplished. I never wanted anything bad, or wanted my job back, I just wanted to be heard and understood.

more tomorrow on what God did next......I will leave you with some pictures from our trip.

A New Journey -2

Story continues.......

I didn't know that while I was helping our friend through the loss of her sister, that a storm was brewing. (figuratively of course) On that Friday I was supposed to work in the evening. I had called my assistant manager and talked to her about finding coverage so that I could be with our friend. She stepped in and came to my rescue in huge way by quickly letting me know that she would take care of it all.
I have worked retail off and on for almost 15 years. (I can't believe how old that makes me sound)I have worked for tons of managers, assistant managers, district managers etc. and I can count on one hand the number of times I have had someone do, what she did, for me. I was amazed and so grateful. She later told me, "I wanted to minister to you so that you could minister to your friend."
I went on with my day doing what ever we needed to help this family with their loss. Once I came home, I discovered that things had blown up at my job. My assistant manager explained the situation to my store manager and.....let's just say he didn't take it the same way she did :-( He was pretty upset with the overtime that I was going to cost the store and with my lack of fulfilling my obligations.
I was told that the afternoon also included a nasty conversation between my Hubby and the store manager. My hubby called the store to explain all that I was going through with this family. He also explained my responsibility and duty to the ministry life we live.
When I finally came home I heard the whole story. WOW!!!! I couldn't believe that something that seemed like it was going so good, could turn out so bad. I wasn't sure how to respond. At the core I felt like I was being told (by my job) that I should have chosen them over ministry.
That Monday morning I went to the store to talk about all that had happened that weekend. I prayed alot before I went in to meet with him. I prayed that God would control my emotions and my reactions. I prayed for peace and wisdom over my words. **Side note** I don't have many PASSIONS in my life. But the few I do have are VERY important to me. If you step on them or challenge them I have a tendency to react.....loudly! :-)***** That being said, I know my self. And I am very passionate about the ministry life that we have been called to. I call it an honor and I do not take it lightly. So I needed to pray peace over my reactions :-)
I told my manager when I went into the meeting, that I had written my 2 week notice. I explained that I needed to do that , so I could be completely honest with my feelings. In the end if he needed to accept my 2 week notice, then fine. If we could work past it all, then great! But if I knew that He could fire me because of what I said....then I knew I couldn't tell him completely how I felt. I needed to be able to "empty the bucket".
I went on to tell him all of how I felt that weekend. God definitely had his hand on me. I said everything I needed to say with completely control. I never raised my voice and I did "emptied the bucket".
BUT.....
I struck a nerve with some of the things that I said. The conversation ended with my notice left on the table.

As I left the store that day, I realized how much I liked my job (I had known how much I needed my job). But, I knew I had done the right thing. I knew that ministry was supposed to come first that day. I knew that I needed to go talk to my store manager and tell him completely how I felt. And all I could do was trust that God would honor my choices.

more tomorrow!

ps. I have thought long and hard about telling this part of the story. Knowing that people in or around the store could and would read it. But I want you to see the full picture of what God has done and if you don't understand the "valleys" you can appreciate the "mountains".



**Spoiler Alert**
I end up back at my job :-)

A New Journey -1

A have hesitated for a while about sharing this story, simply because it involves alot of people. I am always cautious to write about other people because sometimes people can get offended by silly things. :-) So as I write this story I do so cautiously. I pray that if you are someone in the story, you will be flattered that I wrote about you and enjoy that you are a part of MY story and a journey that God has graciously allowed me to travel.

A couple of months ago I sat down and wrote a blog that I couldn't publish. I just desperately needed to write down how I was feeling. I have now come to realize that the events that led up to that blog, were only the first steps of an amazing adventure that is only beginning.

Here is that blog:
Yesterday morning I woke to my alarm. My first thoughts were, "God I know I need to get up...but I can't. Please help!" Struggling to get out of bed, I heard my phone buzzing in the other room. I quickly learned that a friend in our life group had lost her sister in the night. In the next hours our Pastor's wife and I would sit beside a grieving 23 year old and her family. Her 21 year old sister died in a car accident during the night. I won't try for even a moment to imagine the grief and loss that this family is feeling right now. I won't express "hallmark phrases" to try and ease or understand their pain. Because I know that I can't.

As Tammy (our Pastor's wife) and I drove to her apartment we were praying for her. I prayed that God would wrap is arms around her and that she would feel his peace and love. I prayed for wisdom and strength for the family is they walked this unimaginably hard road. Both Tammy and I knew that our job over the coming hours would be to love and to listen. We didn't need BIG answers or the "right" words, we knew that God would take care of that. We sat with our friend for a while and God showed himself in incredible ways. Our friend talked about her sister and her life. But then she said something that has profoundly impacted me....she said,"I know that my sister is sitting with Papa (the Shack reference), Jesus is sitting beside me, and the Holy spirit is inside holding me up. She talked about how God has been showing her of a relationship that she can have with him like the one of Papa and Mack in the Shack. She said," And now I know why, He knew that I would need him to sit on the bed with me today." She said that this morning she felt like she could feel Jesus, with his arms wrapped around her, holding her.
Last night as I laid in my bed I was so overwhelmed with the goodness of God. I was overwhelmed with the sacrifice that people have made in order to bless others.
A day has passed and we have seen people from all corners of our church and other churches come together to embrace them. We have seen God move mountains with broken relationships. And we pray that the lost might be reached through this tragedy.

You know how you can see your breath outside when it starts to get cold? I imagine that the events of the past days are what it looks like when God breathes.

My heart is overwhelmed again as I re-read what I wrote on that day. I think I will stop and continue writing tomorrow. As I think back over that unbelievable day in September I see that Heidi's death was a catalyst that started a chain of events in my life that has forever changed my faith. The amazing thing is I have never met her. One day I know I will be able to hug her and tell her Thank You.



Phil 1:6
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

Faith

Last night our Pastor read Hebrews 11 to our church leadership. I have written a part of it below.

1 Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.
2 Through their faith, the people in days of old earned a good reputation.
3 By faith we understand that the entire universe was formed at God's command, that what we now see did not come from anything that can be seen.

(It goes on to list the Faith Hall of Fame. I pick back up in verse 37)

37 Some died by stoning, some were sawed in half,s and others were killed with the sword. Some went about wearing skins of sheep and goats, destitute and oppressed and mistreated.
38 They were too good for this world, wandering over deserts and mountains, hiding in caves and holes in the ground.
39 All these people earned a good reputation because of their faith, yet none of them received all that God had promised.
40 For God had something better in mind for us, so that they would not reach perfection without us.

Faith. It is an honor to walk this faith road with the people of Lifepoint.

God I pray as we walk this road that you will find us faithful. I pray for the lives that have been changed because of what you are doing through Lifepoint. But I also pray for the lives that WILL be changed because of what you will do in the future.

Mercy

Lamentations 3:22-24

22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
23 Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
24 I say to myself, "The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!"


Thank you God for your new mercies every morning. Thank you for my inheritance and hope in you. May my day be full of opportunities to show you shining through me.