Sunday, October 12, 2008

Heavy heart

This past week I have had a very heavy heart. I found that I love the ministry opportunities the my store allows, but I ache to be home. I am trying to find a way to reconcile those two things. Obviously I have to be at work right now, but when that day comes that I get to be back home, how do I deal with the ache to reach out to hurting people? In the right church environment "ministry" outwards can be done well, God glorifying, and be full filling. But in the wrong church environment "ministry" becomes about programing and country clubbing. We have been there done that and my heart can't take being a part of a bench warming church again. I know that God knows that and I know that he has the perfect place set aside for us to serve. As those "moments" walk through the door of my store, I have learned to cherish them. And as those "mommy moments" come as I walk through the door of my home, I have learned to cherish those even more.

So tonight my heart is heavy. But not heavy because off lack of money, high stress, sickness, lack of job, the economy, or the election. It is heavy because there is a big gaping hole in the middle of it. A ministry size hole that only the right church can fill.

God please open the doors of the right church for Hubby to be on staff at. Please meet our heart needs to love people and share your love with people. God please ease my burdens and carry my heart.

3 comments:

ocean mommy said...

We're praying too..

Natalie said...

Oh Lindsay...you have know idea how great it was to hear from you. You're blogging is fantastic...amazing writing. I've been stalking your site and have laughed, cried, and related (it's like watching Steel Magnolia's). I gather you're back at work...I'm currently trying to get a job. What are you doing??? I've been applying for jobs everywhere as everything (donut maker, hotel manager, waitress, caterers assistant, Wal-Mart "anythinger"). I'm curious to know what types of jobs other Mom's are getting themselves into.

I'm praying for you and I thank you for your kind words. I hope we can stay in touch.

-Natalie

Lindsay said...

I work for a Christian bookstore called Lifeway. I have found that retail allows for me to have the flexiblility to change my schedule as my family needs. But I have been in and out of it for almost 14 years.