What Christmas means to me.

I was watching The Nativity Story the other night with Steven and the kiddos. We have seen it before and really enjoy it. This was the first time "the Littles" had seen it. It was neat to see them watch (seemingly) real pictures of Baby Jesus (instead of cartoon). Especially when Jesus is born. Pey says," I saw Baby Jesus' booty!" Because they hadn't seen it and it was a little over their head, I found myself commentating all the way through. As I told what was happening I found myself getting emotional as I told the story of our Savior.

When I was a child I accepted Christ as my Savior. I prayed the prayer, believed in my heart & got dunked in the water. I completely believe that I became a Christian when I was 6. I know there is always debate over salvation and children, but I know what I know and I know what I believe. The true issue was Lordship. At 6 I don't know that I understood or was taught what Lordship was. It wasn't until much later in my life that I began to grasp this.

I made alot of choices through middle school and high school that were evidence of my Lordship issues. As far as I was concerned, I was in control of my life. I was making the good and bad choices and I was reaping what I sowed. (Do you see the theme? I I I I I I I I)

I was driving down the road one day I realized how badly my life was crumbling. I was a single mom with 2 kids, I had made so many bad choices that I couldn't see straight, and I was on the verge of loosing one of the greatest gifts God has ever given me.

I stood at a crossroad. The Promised Land being one path and 40 years in the desert being the other path. I felt like God was saying to me....."I'm done. I have given you many chances to make me Lord and you have chosen poorly. This is your last chance." God had given me 2 beautiful girls, a family to support me, and a man who loved me in a way I didn't deserve. God was laying the Promised Land in front me, a life full of blessing and I just needed to make Him Lord and step into it.

I sat on the side of the road weeping. I finally got it. Salvation wasn't only about saving me from Hell it was also about saving me from self. Salvation was about letting God rescue me instead of me rescuing myself. Salvation was about Him being in control NOT me.

As I sat watching The Nativity Story I thought about all that I went through because of my choices. I thought about how much God loves me that He was willing to fight for me. I watched this little baby on the TV and was reminded that He came so that I/we could have life. And not a crappy life and ABUNDANT life. John 10:10

What does Christmas mean to you? For me it represents a time to remember and reflect on the greatness of God. A time to say "Thank You" to the God of the universe who loved us enough to become human so that we can have eternity with Him. As I sit quietly beside my beautiful Christmas tree I imagine the bitter life that I could have had. I probably could have written a book called The Hopeless Life of a Strong Willed Child :-) But instead my life is filled with a hope and a future. A future that I live day by day by the grace of God.





That is what Christmas means to me.