Attack!

Do you ever wake up in the morning and realize you didn't sleep? I woke up this morning and felt like *crap (*Tribute to Andie :-). My stomach hurt and I emotionally was a wreck. I stumbled around getting my day started and then it hit me. I remembered that I had horrible dreams last night and the night before.

The past couple of days I have had alot on my mind and some things bothering me. I wanted to sit and talk it out with Hubby, but...... that didn't work out the way my female, emotional, unpredictable, did I say emotional?, mind wanted it to work.
So needless to say the past 2 nights I have gone to bed upset at him. Notice I said I went to bed upset AT him....... not WITH him.
WITH would imply it was a 2 way street. It wasn't! In fact he will probably read this and be like....What??....you were upset??.....when??......was I there??.....did I know??.....did I know I was there???? :-) I will rescue him for a minute and say that I own 99% of it. And I will just put it as a chapter in the book I will one day write, "How to Deal with the Emotional Female".

Anyway all of that to say, I felt pretty rotten this morning. As I thought over my dreams for the past 2 days I realized that it was my dreams that had really put me in a funk. They were so vivid and real that I was emotionally attached to them.

Now don't judge. If you have never had dreams like that then fine, just humor me with an attempt to understand. If you have then you get it. I think and write very passionately so why wouldn't I dream the same way.

I sat down and starting thinking/praying.....and decided that I would fight. Not with my darling husband but with the true enemy. God began to show me this morning the source of my hurting. John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
I laid out my battle plans this morning....they include reading the Bible through in 90 days and alot of prayer. After being pulled out of my funk by a gracious and loving God I step forward with new Hope. Seeing that I don't have to fight alone or unarmed.
When It happens again...I will be ready. I will not let Satan get a foot hold in my family, my marriage, my life.

Something I have come to love is Pandora. I set whatever music I want and it plays in the background as I study His word or even now as I blog. I love letting worship music play as I do whatever. It is like a warm blanket that covers my soul. As I began to write this morning this is the song the covered me:

When the lie is deeper than I know
You capture me and You carry me home
You see these wounds and rescue me
You always heal things beautifully

And I close my eyes
And You can still my heart
And I call out Your name…
‘Cause You always know
You always know where to find me…
You always know
You always know where to find me…

And where could I wander that You wouldn’t be?
Whom have I but You who really knows me?
Proven to be the God that sees
From strength to strength You’ve lifted me…

And I could cry from the depths of the earth
I could stand on a mountaintop
And I can speak Your name out to the wind
And You go before me…
And You fall around me…

‘Cause You always know
You always know where to find me…
You always know You always know where to find me…

-WaterMark

Jehovah-Sabaoth
I cry out to you to protect us in this battle. I pray that all the battles of our Life will bring honor and glory to you. Please protect my marriage and my family. It is you oh God who commands the Sun to stand still and the waters into tide. It is you who gives breath and takes it. I pray your grace upon on lives as we serve you and live for you. Thank you for always knowing exactly where I am and still loving me.


~LL~