Thursday, February 18, 2010

Family Night- Valentine's Day (pt.2)

Ok sorry for the delay. You will understand after reading this. Part one of Family night ended with the Littles going to watch a movie and play with their gifts. The best part of the night (for me) was yet to come.

We sat the Big girls down to give them their gifts. I handed them these...





Baily and Shelby,

1 Corinthians 13
Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.

Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Genesis 29:20
So Jacob worked seven years to pay for Rachel. But his love for her was so strong that it seemed to him but a few days.

The world defines love as something far less. The world defines love as a feeling you get or the act of sex. The world is WRONG!!! The world does not understand why Jacob would work for 7 years and then another 7 for Rachel The world does not understand how to love like Christ loves. The world does not understand True love. They try to label it as an emotion or feeling. They try to explain it without God as the center of it.

Love is something that is created by God. The same God who formed the stars and oceans. The same God in Psalm 139:15-16 " You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed." He created love. He showed us the greatest example of love on the cross, with his Son.

Almost 14 years ago I thought I understood love. I thought that the "feeling" I had was love. I thought that the attention my boyfriend showed me was love. And ultimately I thought that the sex we had was love. I was wrong. I chose to step out of what God had so perfectly created. I chose to go my own way. I thought I had everything I could want. But then as almost as quickly as it started, it all seemed to end. We broke up. I found that he had been cheating on me. I was so confused....He didn't love me at all. A couple of weeks after we broke up, I found out I was pregnant. I went to him and asked him to take a drive in my car because I had to tell him something. I will never forget what he said to me that day when I told him I was pregnant. "So what are YOU going to do about it?" I pulled the car over and said,"The first thing I am going to do,...is to kick you out of my car!" He wanted me to "handle it" (whatever that meant). It was very obvious that he didn't want to be any part of my life.
The following months were hard. My parents embraced me and promised to help in anyway. I soon found out that I was carrying twins. I quickly learned what LOVE really was. God loved me so much that He gave me two beautiful girls. When I chose to have sex before marriage I chose to step out of God's plan. But God never stepped away from me. When I thought I had love all figured out and had sex with my boyfriend, God showed me what real love was with the gift of my babies. In the months following the birth of Baily and Shelby my ex-boyfriend would make one more choice. He chose to legally give up his parental rights to my children. He made the choice to walk away.
My life began to change in the year that followed. I found myself again. I found that the strong willed girl that God had created had become a woman. Strong and ready to fight for her future and that of her girls. I finished high school and started college. While in college I attended a college Sunday school class at church. It is there that I met Steven. Steven was kind and compassionate. But most of all....He loved God first. I knew that whatever man I was going to date would also have to be willing to love my girls. Steven quickly showed me that wasn't an issue. In the months that followed we both felt like we were made to be together. We both felt that God had created each of us for each other. So we got married. The three of us (Mom, Baily and Shelby) moved to Virginia to start a new life with our new family. To start the life God had intended for us. One year after we got married. Steven was able to officially become Dad(though they had been calling him that from the beginning.)
In my 31 years of life I have only experienced True Love from 2 places. God and Steven. God showed how much He loved me when He allowed his only child to die for the sins that I hadn't even committed yet, but he knew I would. God showed me how much He loved me when He showed mercy and grace through the gift of my children. Instead of punishing me for the rest of my life, He simply gave me another road to walk down. On that road, I was given many gifts . One was Baily and Shelby. Another gift was a Godly man who would love all 3 of us. Later my gifts would include a life in ministry and more children. God loves me so much. Steven has shown me True Love by loving me for who I am. With no expectations to be someone or something else. He is patient, Kind,he does not envy, he does not boast, he is not proud. He is not rude, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, He keeps no record of wrongs. He does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. He is True Love to me.

My prayer for you, my beautiful girls, is that you would find True Love. In the arms of a Loving God and in the arms of the man that He has created for you to spend the rest of your life with. God promises in Jeremiah 29:11-12 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen." Trust that the same God who spoke and the World was formed, who breathed life into every living creature, is the same God who promises to give you a future and a hope.
God has created a man for each of you. A man that will protect you and honor you. Wait on him. Wait for the day that you walk down the aisle in that beautiful white dress and promise to love each other forever. By saving sex until your wedding day you are showing how much you love your future husband, how much you love your self, and how much you love God. You are also showing that you trust God and you trust the road that He has intended for you to walk. The rings we are giving you are a symbol of our love for you. We as your parents commit to do everything we can to guide you along the path until you leave us for your Husband. I pray that you will chose to wear your ring proudly and never take it off until the day that you replace it with your wedding ring. May it be a reminder of the love that you have for your future husband, yourself, and God. We love you and pray for you always. Because growing into the woman that God wants you to be is not easy. But you are not alone.

Philippians 2: 14-15 Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.



Baily and Shelby we love you forever!


I promise to love and cherish my future husband by saving my body for our wedding day. I will not behave in anyway that would cause him shame or harm. I promise to love and cherish God's design for marriage. I will honor God and my future husband with the testimony of my life. I will love myself enough to not settle for what the world offers and only accept His plan for my life.



__________________________


We promise to walk with you. We promise to always pray for you and to always love you. Our commitment is to help guide you and encourage you as you seek God's plan for your life. We will seek God always as we parent and love you. When the day comes for us to give you away in marriage to the man God created for you, we will promise to love, support, and pray for you.


__________________________

***
I read the letter to them. I cried for most of it. Especially the "My prayer for you..." part. After I read it they were allowed to open the letters. Under the bow was a purity ring. We talked a little more and then Steven prayed for them both. It was a sweet time for all of us. The girls walked away from us with a choice to make. We made it clear that this was a decision that THEY had to make. Once they decided to sign the letter or not then we would sign it too. We noticed the rings quickly went on their hands (because what girl doesn't like some new jewelry to wear.) But the letters didn't resurface until today.
I am thankful that they signed them alone and in their own time.

Don't get me wrong...I am not stupid enough to think that a cute little silver ring on their finger will keep them from having sex before they get married. But it IS one more step on our road of intentional parenting, and one step at a time is all we can do.

~LL


2 comments:

brenna said...

That's so awesome

Unknown said...

Steven is soooo amazing that I really thought your two girls where his blood children!! Wow! He has completely embraced them as his own! What a great man!!! And they really are his own, that is awesome!

I love how honest you are with your daughters and how you gave them a choice. But the way you delivered it with such passion that it would be hard to not except! I love you two. I love watching you parent and how you live amongst every one in the church with passion and love!