Today I sit unable to write much. Writing for me is an outlet like no other so this is a tough place to be. I have decided to stop my blog until after the new year. One reason is because of the holidays and all that goes with that, but another is because I need to pause. The great thing about the pause button is that it doesn't mean a permanent stop, just a temporary one. Our lives are in the middle of much. I wish that I could poor my heart out, but here in "blog land" is not the place. The only place is to my Father, the Creator of All. I pray that each of you will have a Christmas like none other. I pray that you will get time with family and time alone with Christ. Please pray for our family and my health.
In my devotion today this was a quote that stood out to me. "Rest in God’s grace, knowing that he wants you to succeed at hearing what he says and at doing what he wants you to do. So he’s not tapping his foot, ready to reprimand you; rather, he’s walking on the water, encouraging you to step out of the boat."
God please put your arms around each of us as we go through this season of our lives. I pray that we always stay focused on you and have faith. Help us to believe you completely when you say that you will take care of us. God please hold our hands as we step out of the boat, because we are scared. Thank you in advance for the peace that passes all understanding.
ps. Guatemala is coming...... 31 days and counting.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Standing alone
As the Christmas season has wrapped its arms around all of us I have been addicted more than ever to blog reading. I love hearing the traditions that people participate in and create. My heart is touched to read that people really do still know the true meaning of Christmas. People truly realize that the birth of Christ was the beginning of an event that would play out for the rest of eternity. One blog I read is Losses and Gains and she wrote a particularly beautiful blog about her father (click here). Other blogs have challenged my heart, made me cry, and made me laugh.
Christmas is a time that really joins the hearts of people. It seems like all over the world there are people who are striving to make a difference. As I read and watch I am so encouraged about the heart of people. One thing that I am being challenged with this Christmas is how to deal with this chip on my shoulder. I would love to lie and say that it doesn't exist but it would be just that, A LIE. I carry a chip on my shoulder against people who focus on the materialist side of the holidays. I find myself saying (to my self) "Wow! can you believe that they are spending that on __________?"
"Do they not know that there are children who will die today, because they won't have anything to eat?"
" They could feed a 3rd world country for what they spent on __________. "
I recently saw a video of the President of SouthWestern Baptist Theo. Seminary's house. It is this big to-do at Christmas time. The had trees decorated in every room. With themes from all over the world. People gave up free time to "volunteer" to help decorate. These "volunteers" were proud of all of their hard work and all that they had done for this house. (View Here)
When I think of "volunteering" at Christmas time. I do not think about going into the home of someone who has plenty of money, plenty of food, and WAY TO MUCH TIME, and decorating it. I think about the needy, hungry, the less fortunate.
But here I sat with my chip. I watched the video, all the while being appalled by the $$ and the time that was spent on image. I watch the video wondering if the trees that they have decorated with ornaments from around the world remind them of people. People who have nothing. Nothing to eat, nothing to drink, nothing to sleep in, and definitely nothing to put on a Christmas Tree, much less something under it.
And then I a reminded of some wise words that I read recently. I want to copy them below so that you will be sure and not miss them. This is from another posting on Losses and Gains. These words have forever impacted my Christmas now and to come.
The house is quiet now. Completely, and utterly still. I have been needing this quiet all day. Not because I have needed rest from the noise of my family, but because I have been feeling burdened by the noise of other viewpoints, other perspectives, other versions of what is supposed to be a shared experience. I don't doubt that most people come by their personal views honestly, and with good cause. It is not the grieving, or the lonely, or the broken hearted that I wish to quiet. But there are those who seem to thrive on grumpiness, on complaint, on indignation. The truth is that I am tired of hearing that Christmas is too commercial, too secular, too Americanized, too meaningless. There is validity to all of those arguments, and a mound of evidence behind each of those complaints. But if I allow myself to go there, to join the chorus of discontent, I am the one who will be shortchanged. If I give my energy to hand wringing and fist waving, then I only have less to give to story reading and bedtime prayers. If I grumble and roll my eyes every time I see a Santa mixed in with a nativity scene, then I might miss seeing my daughter's eyes sparkle with delight over every string of lights flung across a bush or rooftop. If I fret and worry that there is no possible way we can pass on our faith to our children without whisking them away to a cave in the mountains, then I have already given in, given up, and the message of Christmas really will have been lost.
I really do understand where people are coming from when they decry all that Christmas has become in our culture. I just can't join in the fray. I need quiet, and prayer, and contemplation, and music, and stories, and laughter, and maybe even some tears. And, for me, the answer isn't to fight the culture, but simply to stand outside it wherever I can, in whatever ways I need. Right now, that might mean a little less blogging and a little more being. Maybe.
Christmas is a time that really joins the hearts of people. It seems like all over the world there are people who are striving to make a difference. As I read and watch I am so encouraged about the heart of people. One thing that I am being challenged with this Christmas is how to deal with this chip on my shoulder. I would love to lie and say that it doesn't exist but it would be just that, A LIE. I carry a chip on my shoulder against people who focus on the materialist side of the holidays. I find myself saying (to my self) "Wow! can you believe that they are spending that on __________?"
"Do they not know that there are children who will die today, because they won't have anything to eat?"
" They could feed a 3rd world country for what they spent on __________. "
I recently saw a video of the President of SouthWestern Baptist Theo. Seminary's house. It is this big to-do at Christmas time. The had trees decorated in every room. With themes from all over the world. People gave up free time to "volunteer" to help decorate. These "volunteers" were proud of all of their hard work and all that they had done for this house. (View Here)
When I think of "volunteering" at Christmas time. I do not think about going into the home of someone who has plenty of money, plenty of food, and WAY TO MUCH TIME, and decorating it. I think about the needy, hungry, the less fortunate.
But here I sat with my chip. I watched the video, all the while being appalled by the $$ and the time that was spent on image. I watch the video wondering if the trees that they have decorated with ornaments from around the world remind them of people. People who have nothing. Nothing to eat, nothing to drink, nothing to sleep in, and definitely nothing to put on a Christmas Tree, much less something under it.
And then I a reminded of some wise words that I read recently. I want to copy them below so that you will be sure and not miss them. This is from another posting on Losses and Gains. These words have forever impacted my Christmas now and to come.
The house is quiet now. Completely, and utterly still. I have been needing this quiet all day. Not because I have needed rest from the noise of my family, but because I have been feeling burdened by the noise of other viewpoints, other perspectives, other versions of what is supposed to be a shared experience. I don't doubt that most people come by their personal views honestly, and with good cause. It is not the grieving, or the lonely, or the broken hearted that I wish to quiet. But there are those who seem to thrive on grumpiness, on complaint, on indignation. The truth is that I am tired of hearing that Christmas is too commercial, too secular, too Americanized, too meaningless. There is validity to all of those arguments, and a mound of evidence behind each of those complaints. But if I allow myself to go there, to join the chorus of discontent, I am the one who will be shortchanged. If I give my energy to hand wringing and fist waving, then I only have less to give to story reading and bedtime prayers. If I grumble and roll my eyes every time I see a Santa mixed in with a nativity scene, then I might miss seeing my daughter's eyes sparkle with delight over every string of lights flung across a bush or rooftop. If I fret and worry that there is no possible way we can pass on our faith to our children without whisking them away to a cave in the mountains, then I have already given in, given up, and the message of Christmas really will have been lost.
I really do understand where people are coming from when they decry all that Christmas has become in our culture. I just can't join in the fray. I need quiet, and prayer, and contemplation, and music, and stories, and laughter, and maybe even some tears. And, for me, the answer isn't to fight the culture, but simply to stand outside it wherever I can, in whatever ways I need. Right now, that might mean a little less blogging and a little more being. Maybe.
I love it where she says, "And for me the answer isn't t fight the culture, but simply to stand outside it wherever I can, in whatever ways I need." WOW!!! These words cause me to lay my chip down. They take the FIGHT out of me. They bring new meaning to "Let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with me." I am forever humbled.
Bottom line is that one day we will all stand before our King and be held accountable for our lives. It will not matter how my neighbors lived there lives. Or how "The Hat" at Pecan Manor decorated her house, and who spent the "volunteer" hours there. I will stand alone and all that will matter is me and what I did. I pray that as I stand at the feet of the God Most High, that He will be proud of me, his daughter. I pray that my choices now will always reflect His heart.
God help me to not get caught up in what everyone else is doing. Please help me to not judge others for what they are or aren't doing. Help me to not fault others for not having the same passions as me. God please help me to show grace to others, just as you have shown it to me. On that wonderful day, where I stand alone before your thrown, please have mercy on me. Please hand out grace to me one last time for not doing all that I could in all of my days. In the days that I have here on Earth please pave a road for me that guides me to do much for those that cannot do for themselves. Thank you for your unending grace and Love.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Making decisions
As I sit around this morning I have been thinking about the art of decision making. Have you ever known someone who can just walk in to a situation, evaluate it, and make a decision? Now there are two types of people that can do that. #1 Is a wise individual who knows God and who inevitably makes a good decision, because they are grounded in Christ, quick whited, and wise. #2 Is the idiot who thinks that he is quick whited, wise, and inevitably makes the wrong decision. I am not sure which catagory I fall into. Maybe that in itself means that I am a #2. :-)
Making decisions are often difficult because of the ripple effect. If know one was effected by the decisions that we make then it would be much easier to make them. Right now in our lives their are numerous decisions that lay on the horizon. Both with our family and with our church. All decisions that we are facing effect numerous people. The ripple effect is large.William Joseph Slim said, "When you cannot make up your mind which of two evenly balanced courses of action you should take - choose the bolder. " Hmmmm! That sounds fun. The bolder.
The other side of this coin is indecision. I have seen the effects of indecision and they can be just a devastating as if someone had made the wrong decision. Theodore Roosevelt said "In a moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing to do. The worst thing you can do is nothing." Wow, how true that statement is. When someone can't make a decision and they just put it off, it cause frustration, hurt, and eventually bitterness. I pray as we go forward down the path the God has so graciously laid for us, that we will be able to make decisions that point others to Him. I pray that the ripple effect that is felt from any decisions the we or our church makes will be one the empowers people to live for Christ. One that calls others to a deeper commitment with God. I pray that we will be wise and decisive.
God please hold our hand as we walk the narrow path. Please help us make decisions that glorify you and shine your light to the world. Help our own selfish worldly desires to melt away so that we can have a heart like yours. Help us to be bold for you.
Making decisions are often difficult because of the ripple effect. If know one was effected by the decisions that we make then it would be much easier to make them. Right now in our lives their are numerous decisions that lay on the horizon. Both with our family and with our church. All decisions that we are facing effect numerous people. The ripple effect is large.William Joseph Slim said, "When you cannot make up your mind which of two evenly balanced courses of action you should take - choose the bolder. " Hmmmm! That sounds fun. The bolder.
The other side of this coin is indecision. I have seen the effects of indecision and they can be just a devastating as if someone had made the wrong decision. Theodore Roosevelt said "In a moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing to do. The worst thing you can do is nothing." Wow, how true that statement is. When someone can't make a decision and they just put it off, it cause frustration, hurt, and eventually bitterness. I pray as we go forward down the path the God has so graciously laid for us, that we will be able to make decisions that point others to Him. I pray that the ripple effect that is felt from any decisions the we or our church makes will be one the empowers people to live for Christ. One that calls others to a deeper commitment with God. I pray that we will be wise and decisive.
God please hold our hand as we walk the narrow path. Please help us make decisions that glorify you and shine your light to the world. Help our own selfish worldly desires to melt away so that we can have a heart like yours. Help us to be bold for you.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Round 758 Ding! Ding!
Today my day began with another doctor's appointment. This was the most anticipated appointment for me yet. Today we hoped to get a diagnosis of my stomach issues.
I met with the surgeon at 8:30am and he had good and bad news. The good news was that I would not need to see him anymore. Yay! No surgery. The bad news was that all test showed that it was Crohn's Disease. (For more info click here.)
This isn't really a shocker for us. We assumed that this was the culprit behind all of my sickness. Next step is for me to get in to see a GI doctor and to begin treatment. Hopefully everything has been caught early enough that medications will be able to give me a "normal" life. The next test for us was going to be getting in to see this GI doctor. They have been telling me that I couldn't get an appointment until Feb. I asked if there was another doctor worth seeing and my surgeon said NO. He was very adamant about getting me an appointment with this doctor. The surgeon's office called this morning, while I was still at the office, with no luck on getting me an appointment. They told me that they would keep trying and give me a call later. I left their and started praying. About 30 minutes later they called me back and had gotten and appointment for me for this Friday. My saviour he can move the mountains, my God is mighty to save. Forever author of salvation, He rose and conquered the grave.
Each time I hear that song I am moved to tears. Because I know that my saviour can move mountains, and nothing seems impossible when we are following him.
Thank you God for giving us hope in a hopeless world. Thank you for giving us peace in a world that is covered with war. Thank you for loving us when we are so unlovable. Thank you for sending your one and only precious son to conquer the grave.
I met with the surgeon at 8:30am and he had good and bad news. The good news was that I would not need to see him anymore. Yay! No surgery. The bad news was that all test showed that it was Crohn's Disease. (For more info click here.)
This isn't really a shocker for us. We assumed that this was the culprit behind all of my sickness. Next step is for me to get in to see a GI doctor and to begin treatment. Hopefully everything has been caught early enough that medications will be able to give me a "normal" life. The next test for us was going to be getting in to see this GI doctor. They have been telling me that I couldn't get an appointment until Feb. I asked if there was another doctor worth seeing and my surgeon said NO. He was very adamant about getting me an appointment with this doctor. The surgeon's office called this morning, while I was still at the office, with no luck on getting me an appointment. They told me that they would keep trying and give me a call later. I left their and started praying. About 30 minutes later they called me back and had gotten and appointment for me for this Friday. My saviour he can move the mountains, my God is mighty to save. Forever author of salvation, He rose and conquered the grave.
Each time I hear that song I am moved to tears. Because I know that my saviour can move mountains, and nothing seems impossible when we are following him.
Thank you God for giving us hope in a hopeless world. Thank you for giving us peace in a world that is covered with war. Thank you for loving us when we are so unlovable. Thank you for sending your one and only precious son to conquer the grave.
Merry Christmas!
Monday, December 10, 2007
Michael W. Smith
YAY! I love Christmas music. I think I could listen to it year round. I just got the new Michael W. Smith Christmas CD and it is wonderful. I have been a fan for as long as I can remember and this CD is no different. I also love that he has Mandisa on the CD. She is a new fav. of mine. Click on the link on my side bar and you can get some more info. and this cd.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Survivor
Ok so I must admit that I am a reality TV junkie. (For the most part) I love my Survivor, Amazing Race, American Idol, Hell's Kitchen, and Kitchen Nightmares. I do draw the line when it comes to The Bachelor, Dancing with the Stars, and Big Brother. (Sorry if your a fan.)
Right now we are right in the middle of a Survivor season and and Amazing Race season. One thing that always amazes me about Survivor is how they will eat anything. I love the episode where they get to bid on food. These people are willing to pay hundreds of dollars (of course it's not theirs) for a cheeseburger, a plate of fries, chocolate cake, etc. The other crazy thing about the food is how sick it will make them. Here they have been living on practically nothing but rice or beans or something simple like that, and then they are going to gorge themselves on a grease filled, cheese piled, bacon stacked burger. But they don't care! They are so hungry, that they are willing to pay the price and the consequences to be able to eat it.
I feel like I have been living on Survivor for the past couple of weeks. Starving myself because anything I eat is extremely painful. Well today I was done! I was willing to pay any price to eat what sounded good. I finished with some testing that I had done at the hospital and headed for Pizza Hut. First I thought some bread sticks would do me just right, then I thought about a triple bacon cheese burger from Wendy's would also do me right. But I needed to have some restraint. So I went on to Pizza Hut. I pulled up to the drive through and the only thing that came out of my mouth towards that beautiful speaker and that angel that was on the other side, was "A LARGE MOUNTAIN DEW AND A CHEESE PIZZA! " (Yes it was a personal pan pizza, I am not that bad.) As I paid for my food I wanted to kiss the lady for being so fast with my order.
I left and headed home. Prayed that my food wouldn't kill me and thanked God that I was alive to enjoy it.
On a serious note....It has been a tough week. Full of testing and doctor's visits. I am so thankful that everything has moved exceptionally fast and we are moving in the direction of getting answers. I have a doctors appointment Tuesday to go over all of my recent test results. Please pray that God guides the doctors towards all of the answers that we need. Please also pray that the GI doctor's office that I need to get into has openings NOW, so that I don't have to wait until Feb.
As of this moment my "Survivor moment" at Pizza Hut has not effected me. I am standing strong. But if it does put me to bed with pain....I will still say,"That was the best cheese pizza I have ever eaten."
I feel like I have been living on Survivor for the past couple of weeks. Starving myself because anything I eat is extremely painful. Well today I was done! I was willing to pay any price to eat what sounded good. I finished with some testing that I had done at the hospital and headed for Pizza Hut. First I thought some bread sticks would do me just right, then I thought about a triple bacon cheese burger from Wendy's would also do me right. But I needed to have some restraint. So I went on to Pizza Hut. I pulled up to the drive through and the only thing that came out of my mouth towards that beautiful speaker and that angel that was on the other side, was "A LARGE MOUNTAIN DEW AND A CHEESE PIZZA! " (Yes it was a personal pan pizza, I am not that bad.) As I paid for my food I wanted to kiss the lady for being so fast with my order.
I left and headed home. Prayed that my food wouldn't kill me and thanked God that I was alive to enjoy it.
On a serious note....It has been a tough week. Full of testing and doctor's visits. I am so thankful that everything has moved exceptionally fast and we are moving in the direction of getting answers. I have a doctors appointment Tuesday to go over all of my recent test results. Please pray that God guides the doctors towards all of the answers that we need. Please also pray that the GI doctor's office that I need to get into has openings NOW, so that I don't have to wait until Feb.
As of this moment my "Survivor moment" at Pizza Hut has not effected me. I am standing strong. But if it does put me to bed with pain....I will still say,"That was the best cheese pizza I have ever eaten."
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Oh My
In all of my pouting about being sick I almost forgot to brag on my Big Girls. Yesterday we studied St. Nick and Stockings. Yes ok.... it was the sickened down version which meant.... hurry hurry hurry finish in 10 minutes and get to the fun stuff. The "fun stuff" was making a gingerbread house. And because I was feeling so bad, part of the assignment was that they had to do it ALONE!! No fighting! All by themselves.
After a couple "I quit" , "That's Not fair" and "MOM"
This is what they accomplished!!
My God is So BIG....
I love the children's song My God is so Big.
My God is so Big,
So Strong and so mighty,
There's nothing my God can not do.
While sitting around my house over the past days I find myself in a funk. My mind wonders into the "what ifs" of my health situation. I am (by self admission) a pessimist. So when it is time to think positive thoughts or negative thoughts about a situation, I am not usually on the positive side of it all.
Yesterday I was told that I would need to wait until next Tuesday to be able to have a CT scan to begin to find out what is going on with my health. WOW! Almost a week of waiting to take a test that won't give me answers, for another week. I was depressed already. Tuesday seemed so far away, that I would probably have my funeral planned by then.
But God knows all of our fears. He knew exactly what I needed. The doctors office called and rescheduled my CT for Thursday/today. Knowing that I would still need to wait 3-4 days to get results on this test, moving it up was a huge answer to prayer. This morning I went into the test full of fears and worries. I prayed as I laid on the table that God would allow things to go smoothly, I wouldn't get sick, and that answers would come. One by one God has answered my prayers.
One hour after I got home the doctors office called with results for my test. All looked ok but there were some concerns with inflamation of my intestines. (YUCK) I have to go back tomorrow for some follow up stuff and then they will probably end up sending me to a GI doctor next week for more testing. Hubby has been so wonderful being at home with the kids and taking care of me. There is nothing I could even think to ask him to do, because he has already done it. I am so blessed with such a wonderful man.
All of this to say... MY GOD IS SO BIG! He is our comforter when we are sad, scared, and pessimistic. He has held my hand today in ways that my best friend/Hubby could not. He has comforted my heart in ways that only the God of the universe could.
Dear God, Thank you.
My God is so Big,
So Strong and so mighty,
There's nothing my God can not do.
While sitting around my house over the past days I find myself in a funk. My mind wonders into the "what ifs" of my health situation. I am (by self admission) a pessimist. So when it is time to think positive thoughts or negative thoughts about a situation, I am not usually on the positive side of it all.
Yesterday I was told that I would need to wait until next Tuesday to be able to have a CT scan to begin to find out what is going on with my health. WOW! Almost a week of waiting to take a test that won't give me answers, for another week. I was depressed already. Tuesday seemed so far away, that I would probably have my funeral planned by then.
But God knows all of our fears. He knew exactly what I needed. The doctors office called and rescheduled my CT for Thursday/today. Knowing that I would still need to wait 3-4 days to get results on this test, moving it up was a huge answer to prayer. This morning I went into the test full of fears and worries. I prayed as I laid on the table that God would allow things to go smoothly, I wouldn't get sick, and that answers would come. One by one God has answered my prayers.
One hour after I got home the doctors office called with results for my test. All looked ok but there were some concerns with inflamation of my intestines. (YUCK) I have to go back tomorrow for some follow up stuff and then they will probably end up sending me to a GI doctor next week for more testing. Hubby has been so wonderful being at home with the kids and taking care of me. There is nothing I could even think to ask him to do, because he has already done it. I am so blessed with such a wonderful man.
All of this to say... MY GOD IS SO BIG! He is our comforter when we are sad, scared, and pessimistic. He has held my hand today in ways that my best friend/Hubby could not. He has comforted my heart in ways that only the God of the universe could.
Dear God, Thank you.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Not again!
I haven't blogged in a while because IT is happening again. My stomach stuff. Last Thursday I started feeling a bit under the weather and my stomach was a bit achy. I was very hesitant to inform hubby, because I hate what he had to go through last time. I can just imagine what goes through his head when I say "my stomach hurts". Anyway, I struggled through the weekend and made it to Monday when I finally called the doctor. I went in that morning and she poked and prodded my stomach. She decided to send me for blood work and then we would go from there. In the mean time I just had to suck it and deal with the pain. This is all reminiscent of my gallbladder stuff 2 months ago. Can't eat because of the pain, no energy because I can't eat & can't sleep without drugs because the pain. It is a very hopeless feeling. And in the mean time all I can do it wait. Up until today I have been waiting for the blood work test to come back and then to figure out what the next step will be. The doctors office called this morning and said that everything came back normal. Next step is a CT scan on Tuesday. They are going to scan my abdomen and see what they find.
Last week I was reading about Job and I gained perspective on all of my WOES! The verse that stood out to me the most was this:
20 At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship 21 and said: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised."
I am so amazed that in all Job had gone through he could still worship. Not just put on a happy face and fake it. But true worship. Not grin and bear it. But true worship. Not smile and nod. But WORSHIP.
I don't attempt to compare my illness to Jobs, or to anyone else for that matter. But what I can tell you, is for me, here, in this home, this sickness is kicking my butt. Please keep our family in your prayers as we go through this and try to figure out what is wrong. Pray that Hubby can press on without growing weary. He is my rock! Without him..... I just don't know. Pray that next Tuesday brings some answers. Please pray hard that everything is solved quickly and won't effect my Guatemala trip in January.
God, please heal my body. Please help me to have a worshipful heart throughout all of this. Help me to not see the hopeless side of things and to only see your side. Please fill me with energy and strength to do all that I need to do in our home. Thank you for you unconditional love.
Last week I was reading about Job and I gained perspective on all of my WOES! The verse that stood out to me the most was this:
20 At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship 21 and said: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised."
I am so amazed that in all Job had gone through he could still worship. Not just put on a happy face and fake it. But true worship. Not grin and bear it. But true worship. Not smile and nod. But WORSHIP.
I don't attempt to compare my illness to Jobs, or to anyone else for that matter. But what I can tell you, is for me, here, in this home, this sickness is kicking my butt. Please keep our family in your prayers as we go through this and try to figure out what is wrong. Pray that Hubby can press on without growing weary. He is my rock! Without him..... I just don't know. Pray that next Tuesday brings some answers. Please pray hard that everything is solved quickly and won't effect my Guatemala trip in January.
God, please heal my body. Please help me to have a worshipful heart throughout all of this. Help me to not see the hopeless side of things and to only see your side. Please fill me with energy and strength to do all that I need to do in our home. Thank you for you unconditional love.
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