Today I feel a little lost. I sat on the corner of my bed this morning praying that God would help me find my emotions. One minute I am sad, the next I am angry, and the next I am psychotically laughing at it all. You see over the past weeks we have been dealing with some little crappy stuff at church (duh, it's church, what else would I expect) and over the past 2 days that "little crappy stuff" has turned into "Heaping piles of Elephant Dung" and I feel like a dung beetle.
Did you know...Many dung beetles, known as rollers, are noted for rolling dung into spherical balls, which are used as a food source or brooding chambers. Other dung beetles, known as tunnellers, bury the dung wherever they find it. A third group, the dwellers, neither roll nor burrow: they simply live in manure.
Sorry, I had to chase that rabbit so you could truly understand how I feel. Now... knowing what you now know about dung beetles, can you guess which one best represents our church life right now. HMMMMMMM...... yep we'd be the dwellers. I wonder if the dung beetles who are dwellers, dwell in the poo because the pile is too overwhelming. Maybe the pile of poo is easier to lie down in and feed on, than to attempt to remove it. Well, ding ding ding. That would be how I feel. As things have come to a head in some areas it just seems so overwhelming. Hubby goes to work to deal with it all and my day goes on like "normal" with the kids and our home life. I am emotionally drained when I go to bed and not much changes when I get up. So I start my day off, tired, emotionally empty, and 1 1/2 after my alarm went off.
I accepted Christ as a Child. So there isn't memory of "Life as a Lost person". But I imagine that it feels hopeless. No light at the end of the tunnel. No comfort in knowing that there is a purpose for everything. Well, when I search my heart trying to find my emotions....this is what I find. Hopelessness. It seems like the pile of poo is just too much and I can't even begin to dig. In fact it is just easier to lay down.
2 Thessalonians 2: 16-17- 16May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, 17encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.
So, after I read and write and re-read that scripture I am uplifted. I know that this is just a season, in church life. To bad this season comes around more than I would like it to. But nevertheless, it IS A season. And this too shall pass. I am also encouraged to know that the dung beetles have such an important place in our world. I am not sure that anyone would ever choose to be a dung beetle. Infact I have NEVER heard, "If I could choose another life, I'd be a poop roller." But without dung beetles the crap would overwhelm the world. Hmmm, kind of sounds like a ministry job.
Maybe today I will choose to be a "roller". After all, I would much rather roll it away, than feed on it.
God help me to see the forest AND the trees, never missing either. Because they are all important to you. Help me to see my/our purpose in this pile of poo that we are living in right now. Help me to laugh instead of cry. Help me to be uplifting instead of dead weight. Thank you for encouraging me. Thank you for using your unique creation of a beetle, to show me that we all have purpose. Help me to step up and be proactive in this situation and not to just sit on my toosh and be overwhelmed. God be my strength! Because I have none. (I guess that is just where you want me)
Ta Ta for now, I have some rollin' to do do. :-)
6 comments:
Okay, I'm kind of laughing at this picture. BUT, my heart aches for you all. This verse was in my quiet time yesterday hope it helps. " For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ, but also the privilege of suffering with Him." Phil 1:29
God must trust you two an awful lot to allow you to be going through this stuff. Hang on, the other side of this trial will be so sweet!
steph.
Hey girl,
I tagged you for a meme. When you have a free minute HA HA HA, check it out. :)
Chad and I are still laughing at Shelby telling us you stay in bed until 2:00 and they were used to doing everything for the babies! Bless that child. :)
love you
steph.
Sometimes life stinks. Sometimes I think that being the wife of a pastor is harder in many respects than being the pastor himself. You have to deal peripherally with situations you are involved in but have nothing to do with. You get to see how your husband is treated at times but you can't step in to defend him like you may want to. You have to deal with the stress of your own day, then share his at the end of the day.
You both have my prayers. I talked to Steven a lot yesterday. It seemed like he needed someone outside the situation to vent to. just ask yourselves how God is trying to use you in this situation, and how He is trying to grow you.
It is so hard to see you guys struggle with church stuff and not know how to help. No, I'm not asking for gossip, but please know that we want to help in any way we can! We love you guys and we have NO IDEA what kinds of stuff you actually go through by being on staff. Know that you are greatly appreciated and loved!!!!
Hey girl,
This is your cousin Erin. Hope things are going good! I have enjoyed reading your blogs, they are so interesting! It has been an inspiration reading them. Just wanted to say hi. I hate we all don't get together more often! That is something I constantly pray for! Love you, Erin
I don't think that any of us can really conculde the character qualities God desires for our lives while we are on the mountain. It is in the valley where the fruit is planted and harvested. It cannot grow on the mountain; it must grow in the valley. God is a God of the mountain, but he is even more a God of the valley. In the valley, it is more difficult to see ahead; the clouds often cover the valley and limit our sight. Joseph was thrown into a deep valley that left him wondering if the God of his father had forsaken him. Jesus hoped that He might be able to avoid the valley that caused Him to sweat blood. There is a valley that each of us must enter, usually unwillingly, in order to experience the God of the valley-and to experience His faithfulness in the valley. Once we have spent time in this valley, we come out with something we would have never gained if we had not entered it. The valley brings much fruit into our lives so that we might plant seeds into the lives of others. God does not waste valley experiences. If we are faithful in the valley, we will enter a new dimension with God that we never thought possible. There is a harvest of wisdom and virtue that can only be grown in the valley.
Know that the valley is a place of fruitfulness; it is a place of testing. It is where God brings what you know in your head into your heart. The only value of knowledge is when it becomes part of your heart. Look for God in the valley today.
The man of God came up and told the king of Israel, "This is what the Lord says: 'Because the Arameans think the Lord is a god of the hills and not a god of the valleys, I will deliver this vast army into your hands, and you will know that I am the Lord'." - 1 Kings 20:28
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