I went cliff jumping

As I struggle through trying to be who God calls me to be I am constantly asking God to kick me off the cliff. Meaning: I know where I am supposed to be spiritually but I just can't get there. So I need God to KICK me there. I pray this with fear, knowing that God can use some very drastic things to be catalyst in our lives.

Yesterday I went cliff jumping. (No not literally, I am not crazy) I have found that so many times when God calls us to minister to someone, He ends up ministering to us. I spent a good part of my day yesterday emailing a lady in our church. Funny thing is.... it was one email that took me 7 hours to write. My goal in writing this email, was to fill her with the word of God. I wanted God to speak to her through His word. But He end up speaking to me. I found that I do NOT read the bible enough. I found that I am just running blind through life pretending to be who God has called me to be. I find that I wake up every morning trying to do a job with zero motivation. I love my children, I love my home, I love my husband, I love our life in the ministry (in the fall I would add Homeschooling to the list). I know that all of those things are right and I am where God wants me to be...but....I have NO motivation to do it all. And that can be very defeating. Until yesterday. God really spoke to me through His word and many a blogs. I was so encouraged through these strong women who are living a Proverbs 31 life and loving it. They are motivated and purpose driven.

So this morning I woke up with a new breath. One of the devotions that I read this morning was about false advertisement (here it is) about faking it, instead of being authentic. Needless to say, I was smacked between the eyes. This blog described me all to well. So this morning I must jump off my cliff again.

I am constantly amazed at how God's love is always perfect. Not too much,not too little, but just right. I didn't need Him to kick me off the cliff, I needed to jump.

Please pray for me. I recognize that I must choose to jump every single day. And I can not do it alone. Pray that I am the mother, wife, teacher, God lover, that He calls me every day to be.

Prove your passion, shut up and live.